Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

GlitterSmash t1_iyd09gy wrote

I say absolutely not - this is between you and your bf. Why is she somehow more trustworthy than him? If you 2 are going to work it out, contacting her is not going to be a positive move. He betrayed you, she didn't, don't make it her business.

Having said that, if it were me I wouldn't be still trying to work it out, cheating is a full stop for me.

10

[deleted] OP t1_iyd117k wrote

[deleted]

1

GlitterSmash t1_iyd6163 wrote

If you need an outside party to help you trust your bf, your relationship is already broke.

4

SharpMarble147 t1_iyd8xf3 wrote

One of the weird things about a liar is that when you’ve caught them, it’s easy to ruminate and focus on trying to figure out all the truths from the lies. You have no need to contact her. He’s already proven than you can’t trust him

1

PlantaSorusRex t1_iyd18xk wrote

  1. He was sorry he got caught, not sorry he did it (or else he would had never done it to begin with)
  2. No do not contact her bc who knows if she would even tell the truth. And its likely to stir up more drama. Honestly, id just be done with your bf bc if he can do it so easily once, he will most likely do it again.
7

hashslingingslashern t1_iyd3424 wrote

I contacted my partners AP and I do not regret it. They didn't know about me. 😥

5

Johnnyslady t1_iyd28vo wrote

I can't say this strongly enough. NO

2

Johnnyslady t1_iyd9e10 wrote

Also, I am terribly sorry. At the end of the relationship, one always asks oneself why in search of closure. I always have fallen back on 'well, that sucks burning ass, but it is was it is.' It's a tar pit otherwise.

1

Mountain_Monitor_262 t1_iyd2g4g wrote

It’s your relationship do all the investigating you need to get the whole truth. But common sense, which isn’t always common and it sounds easier than it is, would be to break up with the BF block and go no contact and forget about that woman. She can have him. He can’t be trusted anyways.

2

AllOutofFs t1_iyd30cd wrote

There’s no reason to contact her. You know it happened and that’s all the story you need.

2

AutoModerator t1_iyczya8 wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as Chads, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

c2seedy t1_iyd3roz wrote

What good will it do? I know you feel like it’ll make a difference, but it wont. You moving on and bettering yourself is going to make a difference.

1

madison618 t1_iyd4qt0 wrote

Yes, you should. She has a right to know the truth. I've been in this situation before and ended up laughing with my ex's exgirlfriend over the bs he said about me. I let her figure him out for herself but when she reached out to ask me about somethings that seemed odd I told her truth. I wished she would've asked sooner. I didnt volunteer the info before she asked cause I figured she wouldn't believe me cause I was the exwife and he was lying to her but I should've given her a heads up and let her draw her own conclusion.

1

treacle1810 t1_iyd5k2j wrote

what’s the point? she might know about you and they already have the story. she may tell you they did hook up but you probably will still stay. you decided to work it out, leave it at that. but just be prepared for heartache down the road.

1

Nyxs55 t1_iyddt3r wrote

No, what’s the point? What do you want to achieve? She didn’t promise you loyalty. It’s between you and him.

I did contact an ex of my husband, they were friends but lied to me that they didn’t speak or see each other.. I saw teams messages where she wanted to meet up after our holiday because she wanted to talk things out. I was angry that he lied so in the moment I sent her a message and she suggested to meet up all 3 of us, we did meet up It didn’t make anything better, worse even I would say. It took us a long time to move on from this…

1