Submitted by [deleted] t3_z94fl5 in relationship_advice
AntComfortable t1_iyf7tet wrote
I mean, you could try, but he was honest and told you how he felt.
So if it works “all of a sudden,” it’s probably just to pacify you.
I was in his shoes and my husband wanted the puppy. Like, 8wks old-puppy. I was pregnant, also. He convinced me that He’d walk the dog, play with her, take care of her since I’d be postpartum when she’d come home. I believed him bc we have a work dog and he can train the pup and walk them or play with them together. When we got her, I got up for the baby, and he got up for her. We didn’t sleep much for those initial few weeks, but we took it in stride; he did all the training and he got her kennel set up and did the hard parts, when we first got her.
It’s been 3 years. Let’s just say he feeds her when he feeds his work dog, but that’s it. Between OT and the way his shifts work out, he can’t really “play” with our work dog, so he’s just not out there at all. The rest falls on me. I’m the SAHP so I do what I can.
I’m not that resentful, but I think we make it work bc I’m the one that’s home, knows her commands, and the kids love her, etc, etc., but I can’t speak for your husband. This dog needs to know she’s loved and be loved. And we do every day.
If he means what he says and isn’t budging, please listen to him. Dogs behavior comes from how their humans treat them, so he is around a dog he doesn’t want or take care of, it affects the dog.
if you really want a dog and will not expect him, at all, to help or train or feed the dog, then that’s one thing. You’ll ultimately be responsible but even then- your husband would still have to live with the dog. don’t get a dog hoping he changes his mind, bc if it doesn’t and you’d have to chose between your husband and the dog, the dog still suffers.
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