Growing up religious can have serious impacts on sexual development. It is good that you came to this realization however you now have to be up front and open about it with your partner. If that is something you need from a relationship and she is not open to the idea then you should find someone that is. By staying in this relationship you are not only doing a disservice to yourself you are also taking time away from her to find someone that has her same values/needs. None of this makes you a lesser Christan. There are all sorts of crazy weird rules u can’t do. To me, religion is about the values and teachings that the stories bring, do unto others, love thy neighbor. Like I don’t think the sin of adultery applies to those who consent to it because its more about the effects of breaking a vow and hurting someone rather than the actual act. I hope you and her have a serious heart to heart and are able to come to a decision. I wish the best for u