Is it alright?

Submitted by dwindlingpaths t3_z914lo in relationship_advice

Suppose the relationship you are in has friendship, basic respect, good general conversation but there is no flirting because the other person is not really the kind to flirt. But the person is reliable and is always there for you. Never leaves you and goes away inspite of issues cropping up. Is that relationship still worth it? The person knows and admits that it is difficult for them to express their feelings in words. Are words really that important?

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jsun1973 t1_iyee9do wrote

Everyone is different. Some people would say yes and some would say no. For me, words hold weight so I would have a problem, but there are different "love languages."

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dwindlingpaths OP t1_iyeffgr wrote

Yea I've come across this concept of love languages. Yea I guess words are important at some times for me too. How would you approach the situation? I mean if it involves such a massive change in personality type it probably will never change right?

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jsun1973 t1_iyek097 wrote

There's always a small possibility that it will, but a couple of things to try come to mind. 1) counseling if you think it is worth it. 2) maybe let them know that this is something you need, and ask them to come up with creative ways to do it. For instance, setting a reminder to text flirts. Messages can be scheduled, so they could do a bunch in advance. Make it part of their routine. I know it sounds cold, but it can actually set them up for success if they take it to heart. They could start branching out and researching ways to do it. Find phrases they like on sites and send them to you with something like, "saw this and thought of you." They just have to get creative and see it as a challenge that is worth it. Reward the behavior you want, and that turns into a recipe for success.

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