Submitted by LuckySport541 t3_z8so4q in relationship_advice

So my boyfriend went to a nightclub and hung with two of his guy friends and when they were done at 6 am they decided to continue partying at my boyfriends house and brought home three girls. I got very upset about it because he barely updated me that night and I didnt know he was bringing girls to his house until I had to call him first and ask and he was already on the way home with them. He said it was his friends bringing the girls but I suspect that my boyfriend brought them because they have met in the past, or he knows them from the past. When I wanted to facetime him he looked annoyed and said it would be awkward if I facetimed him because they were having deep conversations. Its okay for him to have female friends but I’ve never heard about them before and he literally brought them from a club.

I don’t know what I should do, I’ve talked to him about it but whenever we argue he tells me I make an argument out of small things and that our maturity level is different.

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1

PoorCorrelation t1_iyd0tzs wrote

Doesn’t text you much when he’s out socializing with people and inviting a mixed gender group to his house isn’t necessarily a problem, but you’re the one who knows him and if he’s trustworthy. Are you getting a bad vibe because he’s given you a reason not to trust him or because you’ve had bad experiences with other people in the past?

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JakHammer9 t1_iyd14uv wrote

The man is 28, he knows bringing girls home from a club (in matching ratio to the guys too) at 6am with no explanation or reassurance to you is at a minimum disrespectful to you/your relationship. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking your issue with this is due to “maturity levels” unless he’s saying he’s not mature enough to be in an adult relationship.

If they are legitimate platonic friends of his, I feel like that would be known and obvious and he wouldn’t get defensive and angry. If his boys wanted to bring girls back to try and hook up with, he doesn’t need a third one and stay up to party with them.

Decide if you want a relationship where your guy brings girls home to his place from nightclubs and turns it on you being the problem, or not.

176

madison618 t1_iyd5hil wrote

You already know this isn't appropriate. Trust your gut. Break it off.

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mennodus t1_iyd61km wrote

Your feelings are justified, any woman would agree. It is not only disrespectful but also deliberately risking your relationship because he knows what can happen with alcohol in these situations. It sounds like he is not very serious about your relationship. You should be the only one he is interested in.

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EvilFinch t1_iyd88sp wrote

Deep conversations. Haha. At 6am after clubbing. And how strange, 3 girls for - let me count - 2 guy friends? Oh no, he is also there and magically it adds pefect. 3 girls and 3 boys. At his house. After spending the whole night together dancibg and drinking. I'm sure they talked about politics and climate change, haha.

Break up. He brought girls with home to fuck. He lied to you. He is not your bf.

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WildlifePolicyChick t1_iyd8e58 wrote

Yes, your maturity levels are different. You sound like you are about 19 and he's about 12.

Going out until the next morning and bringing home three women is not 'an argument over small things'. 'My friends wanted to bring them home, I had no say in the matter sorry/not sorry!'

Oh and I'm sure the women were sober enough to consent to whatever the fuck all happened?

When I wanted to facetime him he looked annoyed and said it would be awkward if I facetimed him because they were having deep conversations.

What the actual fuck.

If you break up with him, he will have all the time in the world for his deep conversations.

COME ON, OP. If a friend of yours sent you this, what would you tell her?

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CermaitLaphroaig t1_iyd9t9l wrote

So three dudes brought three strange girls home, but it was his friends who wanted to do it, and then they were having "deep conversations" at 6AM after partying all night at the club. And nothing happened!

Sure, Jan

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inna_hey t1_iydjv9z wrote

you're twisting yourself into pretzels to avoid seeing the truth that he's just an asshole.

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amorehappyversion t1_iydk8bg wrote

Yeah, continuing to party past 6am means sex and or drugs. Platonic discussions just don’t have the steam to last all night. You know the deal… don’t let the playah gaslight you.

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livelaughween t1_iydpznv wrote

3 guys + 3 girls + an entire night of partying + heading back to his place? I failed math but know what this equation adds up to. Cut ties now and pursue what you actually deserve, love

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Minute_Box3852 t1_iyer2u7 wrote

3 and 3, op, heading to his house at the end of a night together at the club.

Come on...

1

Ametrine87 t1_iyewm67 wrote

Sounds like he's single to me.

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Peskypoints t1_iyeyhuu wrote

None of this reads platonic and I’m a believer in platonic relationships

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Megane-nyan t1_iyf28yb wrote

He seems to want to live like a single man, so I think you should let him be single.

4

sw0ff t1_iyfbjd4 wrote

Updateme!

1