Submitted by CretinCrowley t3_xxzion in relationship_advice
I am struggling with this so much I can’t sleep.Obligatory background: I (30F)have been best friends with this man (30M)since kindergarten. His fiancé (24f)and I became best friends also. Firstly, His fiancé and I are pregnant at the same time, and it has shown my best friend’s true colors in a way I never expected. He has been ignoring that his fiancé is pregnant, drinking heavily, and neglecting her. She sent screenshots of him saying he felt she had taken out her birth control, she ruined his life, and she has really trapped him. He said they would never afford anything, and that he would never be able to have friends over or go out. He makes over $20 an hour, he owns three houses and a few acres of land. He has a shop nicer than any repair shop in town. They are NOT hurting financially. Well, when she sent me all of that, I was shocked and upset for her. She only wanted love and support from the man she has loved and supported for years now. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.I told her this and she asked me not to say anything to him about it, so I didn’t. I don’t want to ruin the trust she has for me and I don’t want to cause any problems. So we continued life normally, with me giving her extra support. Secondly,My baby shower was recent and I invited them both.She texted me to tell me that he wouldn’t be attending my baby shower, but he wouldn’t even attending his own. When I asked her why she told me to ask him myself.I did, and he said he couldn’t go to mine if he wasn’t going to his, and because it was a women’s event. I asked where he got that idea, as my fiancé was excited to go to ours.He statedhis grandpa said it wasn’t for men. Honestly, I was really hurt and told him even so he should go to his to support his fiancé, as she had been raised differently than he had and she needs his support. I told him he was hurting her by doing this. He ignored me. I told her and she told me he needed to hear it from someone else not me. Nobody else would dare tell him. I told him that it’s time to decide who you want to be as a parent. No response. So lastly, and this has been weighing on my mind. They often have people over, to the point of fifty plus for special events.One that has been a frequent in the past year is a known person who is facing charges for things involving kids.He lied to them and told them that he was set up, and I can’t say how I know he’s lying-I do. Let’s say I used to work somewhere where he was present many times.I was able to tell them without sayinghow I knew, only pulling up court records and showing them a post about him. They believe him. I’m debating on just sending a baby shower gift to their home and just stepping out of the friendship. They haven’t talked to me in over a week.
Edit: Guys, I love and appreciate your kindness and responses. Thank you for taking time to talk to me, and I appreciate you so very much. I am worn out, too heavy, and my feet are about five times their normal size. If I don’t answer, I’m probably knocked out or have lost track. Pregnancy is exhausting. Take care and be well, friends!