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TheObviousBurnerAcc t1_iuk4y55 wrote

I was literally in your shoes 3 or 4 months back. You should 100% confess to him. I (M) was in love with my bestfriend (F) of 4 years. I confessed to her few months ago and although it resulted in me drifting away from her I do feel like I am in a much better place. I was scared that I would not be able to live without her but the result of us not being together proved otherwise. I have been more productive than ever and I am wayyy happier than I was when I shoved all those feelings inside of me.

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tvbee876 OP t1_iuk65k2 wrote

As cheesy at it may sound but I truly don’t think I’ll find anyone better than him.

Edit: I just read your story and I’m so happy that things ended well and that you’re happy. But I don’t think I’m as strong as you are. Just thinking about him not being in my life and what that last conversation will be like makes me cry so hard and I have to stop myself from thinking about it.

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TheObviousBurnerAcc t1_iuk6ntf wrote

I completely understand where you're coming from but the world is pretty huge. You've put him on a pedestal right now. You're literally just 25 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. You will meet many many new people. And this is just assuming that the guy rejects you. What if he does feel the same way about you?

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tvbee876 OP t1_iuk79tj wrote

You’re 100% right. But I don’t know if I have it in me to take the risk.

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TheObviousBurnerAcc t1_iuk8ggs wrote

The fact that you are posting about this on reddit and seeking advice means that you want to take some action on it.

I am just pasting the advice a great guy gave me on my post but its just too good not to pass on.

Do it now before you have the chance to regret it.

4 things could happen.

Rejection: At least you know now as sucky as that is. And move on to find someone who actually really wants you as their girlfriend.

You get the guy: No downsides (I hope?)

You wait around, he finds some other girl to be his girlfriend: Lose your chance. He has a happy life totally without you.

You wait around, he gets with another girl but they don't work out: You're really back at square 1 and now its the same decision but with the next girl he dates.

Rejection really isn't as bad as you make it out in your head. Only he knows how he feels about you and you burying your feelings inside is not gonna change anything. Except maybe give you grey hair from all the stress lol. Anyways I hope you find the strength to confess to him. Keep us updated on your situation and all the best!

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tvbee876 OP t1_iuk9fee wrote

That’s great advice. I’ll think about it and keep you updated.

You’re so nice thank you so much.

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UnsightlyFuzz t1_iuk8azh wrote

Instead of confessing to him, why don't you just seduce him.

You know... a slowly escalating dance of light touches, maybe the occasional heart emoji on a text, use of terms of endearment, invitations to stay later and longer, etc.

I don't know why more people don't use this approach. Confessing feelings seems so stark. Besides, even if he doesn't have feelings now, with a seduction approach he may develop them.

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tvbee876 OP t1_iuk94rh wrote

We always use terms of endearment and heart emojis but we started using them right from the start so they’re more of a friendship thing. I also lightly touch him or grab his arm occasionally but like I’ve mentioned he’s very shy and never wants to overstep any boundaries so he accepts my gestures but never touches me in any way other than hello/goodbye hugs.

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