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thesaddestpoem01 OP t1_iuiay0o wrote

Reply to comment by schrodingerzkatt in ldr gf is going to dancing classes and I feel somewhat jealous by thesaddestpoem01

It's not the arm. It's just the principle. But I suppose you're right. It's not the fact that there's another man touching my girlfriend. It's the fact that I can't be the one dancing with her. Someone else is filling that desire for my partner that I am all too willing to fill. That's what makes me sad. That's what makes me suffer.

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schrodingerzkatt t1_iuiez64 wrote

In life, we can’t always meet every single one of our partners’ needs, and that’s okay. If you are not there to dance with her, be there for her in other ways: virtual date nights, send her little gifts to show you’re thinking of her, write her poems, etc. If she loved you before she began to dance, she will love you after she continues to dance.

However, just because you can’t fulfill her desire to dance, does not mean she is not allowed to fulfill that desire elsewhere. I can guarantee that there is at least one thing that you crave that she cannot fulfill, and I’m finally certain you have found a way to fulfill that craving without needing to rely upon your significant other. All the dancing is doing is fulfilling her desire to dance, not her desire for partnership, romance, or companionship.

Continue to show her every day that you are going to be her source of intimacy and compassion. You don’t have to fulfill that desire with dance; do it in your own special way (see ideas above). If she has been your partner without dancing for so long, dancing is not going to suddenly become her sole source of intimacy. Continue to meet her emotional needs. I know art seems to be a very emotional thing for you OP, but it doesn’t have to be. Especially when that art coexists as a sport, a club, and a source of making friends in college.

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