For a portion of the time I did ballroom, I was actually in your GF’s position (LDR, just trying out ballroom for the first time). One thing the team heavily emphasized was that if you came to the ballroom team expecting romance or a relationship, you are in the WRONG PLACE. Everyone was overall quite platonic with their partners.

My bf was a tad bit jealous too; the way we worked through it was me being very transparent about my partner, my friends on the team, and the time I dedicated to the team. I never felt that dance was romantic to me, it felt like any other sport I did. Just like how cheerleaders have to act excited and how football players have to act tough, ballroom dancers just act romantic. It’s just how it is. (For the record, my LDR ended for 100% non-ballroom related reasons)

Do not tell your girlfriend what she can and can’t do. I would approach it more like how you’ve been worrying that it’s more romantic than it actually is, and you’d love if she’d tell you more about her experience to dispel this fantasy you’ve made up in your head. That’s what’s going on in your head: a fantasy. In reality, ballroom lessons are likely sweaty, awkward, and loud (well, from my personal experience).

Think about it like this: writing romantic poetry is not a 100% romantic process. There’s probably times where you’re sitting there, frustrated, trying to find the right word. Or reworking a line that just isn’t working. Or tossing out the whole poem and starting over. Or banging your head against a desk because you have no inspiration. Eventually, the final product looks and sounds romantic, but leading up to that point was a lot of unromantic behind-the-scenes work.

If opening that line of communication does not help, please talk to a therapist or a trusted friend about your feelings just to vent it out. The idea of a man touching your girlfriend’s arm should not be enough to keep you awake at night.