I'm sorry this happened to you. It is very painful to lose someone you love. Especially, if it is fully initiated by him and is not what you ever wanted. It's going to hurt for a while. But it'll get better. My advice from personal experience: don't stay friends. It's going to make the healing process longer and more painful. I know it isn't easy at all, but that's much healthier for you. Otherwise, you're going to re-live this pain over and over again, every time it seems it's getting better between you two. Learn to live without him. It's a great skill and achievement in life - being able to be happy by yourself. And remember, there's no such thing as "love of my life". There is only a "love of my life at this particular moment";)