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TotalLoose8308 t1_iujagp9 wrote

Reply to comment by CatLevel3620 in My (35F) husband (35M) wants to name our daughter after an anime girl by CatLevel3620

>He said Madoka is his #1 pick and I'm not being fair by rejecting the name when he didn't reject the name I picked for our son.

Yeaaaa, that's why deals like you made are kinda dumb, but not much you can do since you can change the past. Don't make that kind of blanket deal in the future, though.

Be careful how you frame your responses. It's clear he's on the defensive. You want to make sure you're coming at this as a "lets find something we're both happy with" and perspective and not "your name is dumb". He shouldn't be so defensive, but us humans are silly emotional animals sometimes and that's easier said than done.

Would I be correct in assuming you pointed out that "but I didn't reject yours" is not a one to one comparison, because your name did not have the implications that his does? It's a dishonest argument to pretend the situations are analogous, but that can be hard to bring up without setting an antagonistic tone.

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CatLevel3620 OP t1_iujd8m7 wrote

Yes I did point that out but he said it doesn't apply because we didn't put any restrictions on what the names could be when we made the agreement. I will try to reframe it to be less antagonistic, so thank you for the suggestion.

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childofcraigslist t1_iujhgpw wrote

I would frame it as it being important that you both love the name you choose for your child. He had no objections to the name you chose, so it's not the same situation as this. I assume if you'd wanted to name your child Pigpen because you loved the Charlie Brown character, he'd have objected to that. Obviously Madoka is not a derogatory name, but it is a name you dislike and both parents should have veto power because it's not great for the child to be named something that has negative feelings attached for one parent.

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