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drfishdaddy t1_iuimm8e wrote

Reply to comment by Donutduchess in I worry I’m being selfish with sex by Forrelatiobshipadvjc

Wow, even if we take what is being spewed by “the Mano sphere”, as with all stereotypes, you can’t put that on individuals.

You are basically saying, men are selfish lovers, so you should be too. Even if that was overwhelmingly true, it doesn’t mean it’s true about this individual. In fact, she specifically said he is giving in bed.

Additionally, reducing sex down to just the pursuit of orgasm for someone clearly just getting started is damaging. I’m all about increasing the quantity of orgasms and the quality of them, but the quality of the sexual experience isn’t only relegated to orgasm achievement.

For the record, I’ve never told a woman “enjoy the journey, you don’t need to come”, nor am I aware of any individual I know communicating that to a partner.

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Donutduchess t1_iuin7im wrote

I never said this individual was a selfish lover. In fact I never stated anyone was a selfish lover.🤨

I did say if he wanted X he would ask for X so don't worry about his wants instead focus on consent and your enjoyment.

Funny how quality sexual experience doesn't mean an orgasm is only/mostly directed at women. If sexual experience isn't relegated to orgasm achievement then you shouldn't be so upset about me advising her not to focus on his orgasms for sexual acts he never asked for. Yet here you are seemingly upset she is not going out of her way to please him.

What you have done for the record is irrelevant as nowhere did I call you out specifically in my response. Your defensiveness is misplaced and odd. I didn't accuse you of anything. I didn't accuse all men of anything. Heck my only mention of men is a specific subset aka manosphere and the turnaround of her orgasm is her responsibility.

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drfishdaddy t1_iuipfju wrote

If you think me saying sex is more than just orgasm achievement is a slight to women or a cop out for lack of results, you are mistaken.

You lobbied an accusation at OPs boyfriend by suggesting he be treated as you suggest to treat selfish lovers.

What I have done is as relevant as what anyone else has done, hence when you make a sweeping statement and some response with “I’ve never seen that”, it’s valid input to the frequency of the claim.

Seems like you need this! Good luck with life, hope this makes your day better!

https://imgur.com/a/uROSk4T

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Donutduchess t1_iuipvw2 wrote

I never said it was a slight to women.

I did say this line is touted mostly/only to women. And pointed out how you say this while so upset at the notion of her not going out of her way to give him orgasms.

I never lobbied any accusation about OP's boyfriend. The only thing I said was if he wanted X he would ask for X.

The only sweeping statement I have made is just now when I said your line is something mostly/only directed to women.

It's really odd you trying to twist this as me generalizing men or attacking men when the only gender I generalized was just now and it's women.🤣

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drfishdaddy t1_iuiruyv wrote

>As the manosphere loves to tout about women

>Heck society tells women to just enjoy the journey and she doesn't need an orgasm so he is doing way better than most women.

>quality sexual experience doesn’t mean orgasm is only/mostly directed at women.

You and I have a different understanding of the concept of generalizing/sweeping statement.

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Donutduchess t1_iuis4z0 wrote

I never said I didn't generalize in fact I said I my only generalizarion was about women.

You didn't catch me in anything. I said I generalized women and you in fact showed that.

Your quotes dismantle your entire stance. I never attacked men. I never generalized men. I never accused OP bf of being a selfish lover.

I DID generalize and say women get bs copiute directed at the about their lack of orgasms.

My only mention of men in any context is like I said before about the manosphere which is a subset of men and even smaller population as it is about specific online spaces. Like damn dude you see me talk about a specific online group of men and boom that's generalizing all/most men...wtf

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drfishdaddy t1_iuititu wrote

So to be clear, “the manoshpere” is not a word for men as a collective? When society tells women something, that isn’t representative of men? When something is only directed at women, you of course meant by other women, right?

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