Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_iui58yp wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

why_how_ t1_iui8maq wrote

Well I believe past does matter.

Anyways, just tell her you aren't comfortable and interested in her past. But what if in a party or any other gatherings, there are guys around who she slept with. You would be ok sharing table with them without knowing about it or you expect your gf to not to take you such places.

0

International-Aside t1_iui9dg6 wrote

"Hey, I'd rather we didnt discuss past sexual partners. I dont think you're wrong or bad or anything for having had fun, its just that thinking about you with other ppl makes me uncomfortable. I'd prefer to focus on us and our future instead. How does that sound?"

2

RandoBoomer t1_iuialt2 wrote

First, I believe the past DOES matter. Past behavior is often a good indicator of future behavior.

Second, her saying she "loved all the attention from men" sounds like a MASSIVE red flag to me. That's someone who enjoys validation. Far too many people who need validation are searching for quantity rather than quality.

Third, it's not insecurities. It's about learning your partner's past. You don't need to justify to anyone (especially a partner) why something in their past bothers you. If it does, it does. It is an incompatibility that is nobody's fault.

Fourth, as emotionally difficult as it may be, LET HER TALK. Gather information to determine if she is someone worth committing to. There are tons of people who are great dating partners but poor life-partners. Breaking up with a dating partner is a lot easier both emotionally and financially.

1