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Snozzberrys t1_iuiqgaz wrote

Reply to comment by lonelyonaspecialday in I (33F) flew very far to visit my best friend (29F) and I feel uncomfortable around her boyfriend (31M) by lonelyonaspecialday

> to save our friendship

What friendship?

You laid down a perfectly reasonable boundary and she responded by emotionally blackmailing you into capitulating to her demands. Then after you compromised and set additional boundaries she trampled all over those.

It doesn't sound like your "friend" respects you very much.

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lonelyonaspecialday OP t1_iuir1gx wrote

Perhaps she doesn’t realize that’s how I view the situation?

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inna_hey t1_iuitwav wrote

What is there to be confused about? You have a weakened immune system and are susceptible to illness. It's not rocket science, it's very unlikely that she didn't understand that.

You seem to be bending over backwards to avoid accepting the obvious conclusion that she prioritizes her own feelings over yours

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lonelyonaspecialday OP t1_iuixulw wrote

You’re right, it is very hard for me to accept because she has done so many things for me, especially pretty recently. So I just have a hard time believing that she just doesn’t care, cause she’s shown me in different ways that she does. She was there for me when my grandma died 3 months ago, even flew out to surprise me and break me out of a depression. She’s given me a place to stay when I was nearly out of a home… I mean I could list off lots of things. She has stated that she does have a hard time understanding what it’s like for me to have my illness…

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inna_hey t1_iuj7rl2 wrote

People are complicated. They can be caring in one instance and weirdly indifferent or hostile in another.

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Snozzberrys t1_iuismim wrote

> I told her I felt uncomfortable being around a sick person as I have very low immune system and a few autoimmune diseases, and have been getting over a three month long recovery of a very long battle with my gallbladder

It sounds to me like you explained yourself pretty clearly, your friend probably just doesn't care.

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