Submitted by r3cklessiguana t3_yimia8 in relationship_advice
Pinwurm t1_iujgubc wrote
Sometimes it's fetishization.
Sometimes its just an interesting happen-stance.
You've been together for 2 years, and you haven't experienced any race-related objectification from him.
It's more than likely the features he likes about you are unique to you. If he says you have "beautiful ____", it's probably because you have beautiful ____.
It doesn't have to mean anything more than that.
Even if he has some unconscious racial preference in dating, there's a huge line between that and abject fetishization. You might have some of those same unconscious preferences.
Overall, this sounds like this is an area in which you're experiencing some insecurities. I understand where those feelings may be coming from and you should know they're normal.
I would recommend two things. The first is to objectively look at your relationship and ask a few questions. Are you happy? Do you communicate healthily? Do your goals and values align? Can you trust each other?
I have a feeling you're going to answer those questions positively.
The next is to talk to him a little more about how you're feeling. Make sure he understands. More to the point, you may have to tell him what you need. He may not know.
If you need reassurances, tell him that.
If there's a compliment he uses that doesn't sit right with you, tell him about it and maybe offer an alternative.
You'll figure this out, hopefully.
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