Spice up relationship of 8years

Submitted by Creepypaper2242 t3_yiegft in relationship_advice

Hi! So I’ve (27F) had a few conversations with my partner (27m ) about how to improve our Relationship and it’s like pulling teeth to get an answer out of him.

1 thing he says is he needs more space, I work from home so I took that as I need to get a hobby outside of the home and get out more. But also I thought, he doesn’t have any hobbies so why can’t he be the one to do so as well?

And he didn’t ask me what I thought at all. Sometimes I feel like he’s checked out.

I am getting a pt job so I will be out of the house a lot more. Hopefully that will be the space he needs. Idk.

How can I continue to bring this conversation up?

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kweefer_sutherland t1_iui6z41 wrote

Wait until you start up the new job and revisit this conversation.

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highpasserby t1_iui77y5 wrote

First you have to work on your communication!! If it feels like "pulling teeth" to get an answer from him and you need space at 27, what's gonna happen in 10,15,20 years?

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Creepypaper2242 OP t1_iui7lb4 wrote

Exactly. I just started therapy again and last time I was in it my communication was much better and more consistent. But it was only better on my side. But you’re right and it’s something I always think about

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highpasserby t1_iui956u wrote

CREEEEPYY PAAAAPPEEERRRR!! Yup, having a one sided channel of communication won't work in the long run

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Larljungen t1_iui8hcr wrote

Distance is rarely the cure. Rather doing things outside the home, together. That's how you strengthen bonds, that and communication of course.

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Creepypaper2242 OP t1_iui9ukg wrote

That’s my first thought too. I’ve tried to get him to go on walks in the morning, couple activities, etc. I’m thinking something is happening deeper in him. He says no to most things

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