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Mission_Crow468 t1_je6qc44 wrote

Why are you so weak for him? What do you stand to lose by cutting him out of your life entirely? You’ll feel bad at first, sure. Everyone does. But you two clearly aren’t getting back together. He’s hiding things from you, which is still toxic and definitely not growth. You know this is someone your friends and family don’t approve of, so why even go down that path again? Do not let yourself alienate family and lose friends over a guy you are “weak” for but clearly isn’t as “weak” for you. He’s an ex for a reason. Move forward. You seem both self aware and yet drastically unwilling to let yourself feel uncomfortable and cut ties.

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bachelorsuperfan66 t1_je6r963 wrote

I don’t think I ever conveyed I’d be losing family and friends, I only said that because I don’t have anyone to talk to about it not that anything is at stake. I’ve had friends that have left me for their narcissistic boyfriends so I’m committed to not letting that happen in my own life. I think drastically unwilling is a really strong word. Like I said, it’s one of life’s lessons for me lately and I’m only going to grow from it by letting it all go now.

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Mission_Crow468 t1_je6uko5 wrote

Maybe it is strong, but I’ve both been in this position and have had plenty of friends in this position. Whatever is going on with him, it’s beyond shady and not something you should be inviting into your life. You stand to lose absolutely nothin by completely cutting him out of your life. I hope you’re able to do it. If I come across as super critical, I apologize. I just have seen this okay out many many times before and it always ends poorly. The biggest mistake everyone makes is not cutting out the cancer before it metastasizes. If he is with someone else, you have no idea what their mental state is or how you could be putting yourself at risk. Hopefully that would never ever be the case.

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bachelorsuperfan66 t1_je6vkwi wrote

No worries- I probably came across this way to one of my friends so I understand that it’s well meaning. My only concern was my message not fully coming across like I wanted to. I know I can cut him out. I’ve created a beautiful life without him and I’m used to him not being part of it. I think I just really needed confirmation that my suspicions are valid/that it is shady and that there could be somebody else and I appreciate what you are saying. Thank you 💗

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