Submitted by TA7889165776 t3_1284cmd in relationship_advice
First let me begin by saying that I love my husband (38m) and our dead bedroom is 100% completely my (33F) fault. I am a CSA survivor and my relationship with sex is difficult and confusing. My cousin did things to me from 6-11. When I first met my husband I was in a complicated place. It was actually easier to have sex with him because I could cut contact with him anytime. However, as I became more connected to him it became harder. I expressed this. We got married and it became even harder. I expressed this to him. I was honest and told him what happened to me which I have told no one. He didn’t seem to understand. Now in arguments he says things like “you’d rather fuck your cousin than me” which honestly doesn’t help because I feel less safe with him when he says that stuff. I have asked him to go to therapy with me, both to see my individual therapist or to see a couples and he says no because he doesn’t believe in therapy. He’s even annoyed that I have my own. But he always complains that he is a man and he has needs and he is being deprived of sex and I feel terrible. But I also feel like maybe my experiences and feelings also aren’t being considered. Does anyone else have similar experience or advice. I understand my husbands points and want to do right by him but I also know my own experience…I’m just very confused and would love any help. Thanks in advance.
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