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MarleeMange OP t1_jec5fba wrote

Reply to comment by InternationalAd7211 in My friends abandoned me (F 22) after I lied to my ex boyfriend (M 27) - My ex proceeded to sexually harass me and manipulate me afterwards - I don't know what to do anymore - Advice, opinions, KINDNESS would be appreciated! by MarleeMange

Thank you - I needed to hear that.
I've been slowly mustering the courage to block my old friends. I will do the same to him because you're so right. As a human being - I deserve so much better. I appreciate you and your comment more than I can possibly explain.

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InternationalAd7211 t1_jec6rm8 wrote

Don’t just say your going to do it, do it right now. As somebody with BPD as I mentioned I know exactly how it is to wanna go back and relapse or rethink and wanna blame yourself and try to justify somebodies actions don’t do that. Don’t do any of that.

Open up to somebody in your life, tell them how you feel and what’s happening. Block those friends, block him, block anybody that knows him be done with it and you need to take a BREAK from relationships and focus on finding coping mechanisms. Journaling helps me and sewing and crocheting. I saw you mention that your a college student so if you like writing you might enjoy journaling to. It helps a lot more than you’d think. Getting out your feelings with artistic expression is also very helpful. Painting, crocheting, sewing, drawing, sketching, doodling, anything really. Maybe start looking into spirituality to, I find that helps me also and start surrounding yourself with positive affirmations.

Learn how to self soothe and remember to use your coping mechanisms even when it’s difficult and you have strong urges to go back or relapse just remind yourself why you left in the first place.

I see you like Reddit so find a group centered and focused around healing or find some on tumblr I swear there’s 100’s. For now you need to focus on YOU, and college. Period.

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MarleeMange OP t1_jec8dc1 wrote

I won't sugar coat or lie - it's not easy right now even thinking about blocking him, and everyone is making me feel like I'm drowning in tar. It's heavy and hard to say goodbye to people that I've grown close to. I hate that I lied, I know what I have done is wrong, and I know I won't ever do it again. Because it's a lesson learned. It hurts. Every part of me wants to hold on to them all, but I know it'll only hurt me, set me back, and prevent me from healing.

Maybe they never were my friends to begin with, but it was one enjoyable illusion. My heart probably isn't ready for a relationship. Maybe I'm mentally not ready for one either. I could do as you said and join some groups, meet people who'll understand and help me build myself back up.

I'll invest myself more in my art and in my studies. Distract my mind and find coping mechanisms, healthy ones. Thank you. I am taking every word to heart. Honestly, journaling sounds like something I could really enjoy, so I might just try that out, too. For now, my first step of healing is blocking him and everyone that he calls his friends.

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InternationalAd7211 t1_jecat62 wrote

YES. Come back when you block them and give me an update I know how hard it is, but remember why your leaving. Does he know your email? If so block his. Block him on all and any social media you know he has. If you have any pictures you’ve sent him and he still has them DELETE them. Every single one.

The amazing thing about friends is you can ALWAYS make new ones. Literally. 7 billion people on the world and it’s not slowing down anytime soon I swear you will find BETTER.!

I am so happy your gonna try journaling! I love it and I can share you some pics of my journaling book if you’d like, or share you my Pinterest board for inspiration!

You honestly remind me of myself which is why I am going so hard on this, I want you to have all the tools necessary to end this chapter of your life and start a new one.

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MarleeMange OP t1_jecbj5x wrote

Thank you a thousand times over! I'll send you a personal message and update you on all of it. I'll do as you've recommended. I'll completely erase him and all of them and start new and fresh!

I'd appreciate some tips and inspiration. It would be amazing, thank you! I really can not express how much you reaching out, has meant to me today. I'll definitely keep in touch with you. And when you put it like that, 7 billion is more than enough to choose from!

I can't wait to write a new chapter with new friends and hopefully someday a new love too.

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InternationalAd7211 t1_jecborg wrote

YIPPE! I can’t wait for an update! Your on the right track already I’m so proud of you! I’ll dm you the Pinterest board it’s so cute you’ll love journaling

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