Submitted by sadgirlthrowaway32 t3_126v5yl in relationship_advice
My bf and I dated for 3.5 years. The breakup came so suddenly about a month and a half ago when he said that he has a lot of problems that he needs to work through (namely seeing relationships as prison etc) alone. This was right after we had conversation in January that we don’t see us breaking up in the next couple of years and thinking seriously about getting engaged.
During the breakup he said he loved me very much but he also said that he can’t handle my emotions while he is trying to work through issues which is fair. He said that he will focus on himself and is not looking for someone new and that he would be thinking about getting back together etc. basically reevaluating our relationship.
A couple of days ago he handed me his laptop and he received messages from girls which popped on the screen. And then on our common ipad I saw tens of girls he is messaging. I was fuming. First of all, he should have been a lot more considerate and respectful so that I didn’t have to see those messages. Now I can’t stop thinking about them. Second of all, it feels like he made no effort to fix himself and went right back into “finding someone new” especially in the light of so many issues he has.
I am extremely disappointed, angry and hurt. I confronted him about his disrespect and lies but he saying he thinks he was being at the time which I don’t know what that means. How can I move past this feeling of betrayal? Or how should I frame this issue as if not betrayal? Also the fact that it is tens of girls just is mind boggling to me and feels like extra disappointment.
Tl;dr my ex bf lied to me and said he would work on his issues but now he is trying to meet up with tens of girls. I don’t know how to handle this or frame this.
AutoModerator t1_jeazq1v wrote
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.