I (29 F) have been with my husband (29 M) for 10+ years and he no longer associates with his friends.

Submitted by ThrowRABadBabysitter t3_127y68p in relationship_advice

Hi all. Obligatory on mobile so sorry for formatting.

As the title says I have been with my husband (who we’ll call J) for over ten years now. He’s my best friend and we love each other to pieces, but there’s one thing about our relationship that really and truly bothers me. Over the course of our relationship, the amount of friendships he himself has has dwindled down to his social life only involving “my” friends. When we first started dating, he had a decent sized friend group and kept in touch with them regularly. But as our relationship progressed, he moved about an hour and a half away from his hometown (my area is cheaper to live in) and we started our life together where we are now. As the years went on, he lost touch with more and more of his friends either through distance or some arguments, until we got to where we are today. Don’t get me wrong, the majority of our friends are “our” friends and we love them dearly, but I can’t help but feel guilty every time I go out with my girls and he doesn’t really have anyone to go out with. Any advice on what to do? The one thing I will say is the two men in our lives he feels closest to and would most likely have “guys night” with live out of state, so that could be apart of the problem.

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trishsf t1_jegdcvj wrote

It makes sense. He moved away from his friends. It doesn’t sound as if it bothers him that you have girls nights out and he doesn’t go out with the guys. Only he can change this and that’s only if it’s not working for him.

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ThrowRABadBabysitter OP t1_jegenm0 wrote

That’s true. I don’t know if it actually bothers him or not because he jokes that he “doesn’t have friends he has my friends”. But he’s more fluent in sarcasm than English so I can’t tell sometimes.

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Reasonable_Major1678 t1_jegdra3 wrote

Distance doesn't make it easy to keep friendship. Did he ever complain about having no friends?

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ThrowRABadBabysitter OP t1_jegevpm wrote

He doesn’t complain, he makes jokes saying he doesn’t have friends anymore, and I’ve even asked in our couples therapy sessions (we go for maintenance, not big issues) and he swears up and down he’s good.

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