Broke Things Off***

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Op, he was very disrespectful of you and your time. How often does he go out with friends and to parties?

He wants to go out every weekend. Like he would honestly probably go out every Friday and Saturday if he could and he probably will now. He was a huge party guy in high school and I met him just after he graduated. After starting to date me he chilled out a lot. He now goes out 1-2 times a month. When my gut issues started though we/he didn’t go out for 2 months. I think that’s what really tipped him over the edge. When fighting he said he hasn’t gone out because he didn’t want to deal with how I respond.

He's 22 and likes to go out partying with his friends. You're at home angry every time he goes out. This was never going to work.

Personally, if I had a girlfriend who wanted me to text constantly every time I went out, and got angry if I went somewhere else while out, I'd break up too. I don't need a mother nagging me. Getting into fights that often is not a sign of a relationship worth being in.

Firstly he is disrespectful if he is constantly changing his plans when he is out. It is inconsiderate of him if you don’t know if he’ll be home at 1am or 8am the next day.

Secondly you are better off not being together, his actions show he is immature and not ready for a relationship like what you want. He may be a wonderful guy in most areas but he is in his party phase and he will continue to resent you because you “cramp his style”. He is going to need to learn his lessons the hard way and sadly that will probably be doing something stupid while drunk and ruining his reputation or possibly his life, if he is that kind of wild drunk, it doesn’t end well.

Third, you can’t change him or show him anything that he doesn’t want to see. My ex wife was very much into party lifestyle when we met, I was not. I told her early in dating that I wasn’t going to go party with her and I don’t want a girlfriend that goes out partying all the time and that she is absolutely welcome to keep partying and I’d wish her all the luck and be glad I met her but I wouldn’t date her. She told me she appreciated how stable I was and she should probably give it up because it wasn’t fulfilling. Fast forward a number of years of marriage and it turns out she still resented me for “forcing” her to give up parties and she missed out on years of being able to party and let loose. So my advice is that you are best just let the relationship go and don’t say anything about not trusting him. He was at the least disrespectful if not outright manipulative to make you worry than use your guilt against you to do the whole, don’t you trust me, thing.

I never asked him to text me constantly, I just asked for updates. To knows he’s okay. Me being upset comes from him saying he’s staying the night somewhere and then I found out he stayed somewhere else and he didn’t tell me nor did he plan on telling. How would you feel if your significant other said they were staying at a friends house and you found out they were staying at some random person’s house? The anger also comes from him telling me he’s on his way home from somewhere and showing up three hours later when it’s a 25 minute drive, his word were “we are getting in the truck to leave right now and do not to worry about eating dinner alone.”

I want to repeat I’m not angry that he goes out I’m angry about the lack of communication. But I guess according to you I’m the bad guy and communicating isn’t important in relationships.

If he was staying out for the night at someone's house, what difference does it make? The whole "to know they're ok" is something you do with children, not adults. He had no excuse for being 3 hours late when he should have been 25 minutes away, that's inconsiderate. Still, if this is something happening as often as it apparently has, you two just aren't on the same wavelength. I'm not sure there's any point in apologizing when you see him next, best to just move on.

He's doing what a lot of 22 year olds do, you aren't interested in that lifestyle and both positions are fine. He's asked you to go out but you didn't enjoy it and again that's fine. But there's an incompatibility between you two that isn't going to be worked out because you view your lifestyles so differently at this point in your life. Hope you things work out for you both in the future

Yeah it sucks, I would have kept going out with him had it not been for my stomach issues.

I get it and I'm sorry that you're feeling the loss of a significant relationship but you don't enjoy that lifestyle and that's okay. It's not okay to ask him to change for you this young and you shouldn't change for him either. Hope you get a physician who can help you. Stress is a huge cause of gastric problems and if you can address that it may help with it. Also couldn't hurt to take a medical grade probiotic like alforex and see if that helps too. Another thing is keeping a food and health diary so you can see if any particular foods are causing it. Hope you feel better soon