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No-Yesterday6541 t1_jean4uv wrote

He wants to go out every weekend. Like he would honestly probably go out every Friday and Saturday if he could and he probably will now. He was a huge party guy in high school and I met him just after he graduated. After starting to date me he chilled out a lot. He now goes out 1-2 times a month. When my gut issues started though we/he didn’t go out for 2 months. I think that’s what really tipped him over the edge. When fighting he said he hasn’t gone out because he didn’t want to deal with how I respond.

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notmyname2012 t1_jeapgkn wrote

Firstly he is disrespectful if he is constantly changing his plans when he is out. It is inconsiderate of him if you don’t know if he’ll be home at 1am or 8am the next day.

Secondly you are better off not being together, his actions show he is immature and not ready for a relationship like what you want. He may be a wonderful guy in most areas but he is in his party phase and he will continue to resent you because you “cramp his style”. He is going to need to learn his lessons the hard way and sadly that will probably be doing something stupid while drunk and ruining his reputation or possibly his life, if he is that kind of wild drunk, it doesn’t end well.

Third, you can’t change him or show him anything that he doesn’t want to see. My ex wife was very much into party lifestyle when we met, I was not. I told her early in dating that I wasn’t going to go party with her and I don’t want a girlfriend that goes out partying all the time and that she is absolutely welcome to keep partying and I’d wish her all the luck and be glad I met her but I wouldn’t date her. She told me she appreciated how stable I was and she should probably give it up because it wasn’t fulfilling. Fast forward a number of years of marriage and it turns out she still resented me for “forcing” her to give up parties and she missed out on years of being able to party and let loose. So my advice is that you are best just let the relationship go and don’t say anything about not trusting him. He was at the least disrespectful if not outright manipulative to make you worry than use your guilt against you to do the whole, don’t you trust me, thing.

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