i don´t know the details of your relationship but when was the last time you asked her out on a date? or went on a weekend getaway or told her out of the blue how sexy she looks or got her some flowers? or put up an effort in helping her with the house chores and the kids? or left a love note for her? or any random act that makes her feel loved and appreciated? i feel like a lot of men forget to cherish their wives and women still want to be romanced by their spouse and be told how desirable they still are even after 17 years of marriage and kids, i feel like it´s easy to complain she doesn´t want to have sex or doesn´t seem engaged but i think it´s a valid question to ask what are you doing to be attractive to her and not just sexually but also mentally