My (18f) boyfriend (18m) says I ignore him when we go on vacations

Submitted by ThrowRAHelpMe13 t3_1283gxq in relationship_advice

My (18f) boyfriend (18m) says I ignore him when we go on vacations

So this isn't a super dramatic story, but i need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now and have had a pretty stable relationship where we can talk about things that bother us. He's always been a little more reserved than others when it comes to his thoughts and emotions but hes always opened up to me one way or another.

Today when I was at his house, we were talking about this trip to Florida we are taking with about 13 other people for spring break. This trip is tommrow and I thought we were excited for it, but while we were talking he said that on the last trip we went on, I ignored him. I was stunned because I didn't know he felt that way.

The last trip was to a cabin in the woods with a few friends during winter break and I thought we had a lot of fun. This is the first time I've heard him say that I made him feel that way and I tried asking him about it. Sure, I was a little less PDA than normal because the friends we went with were more conservative, but I still made time to talk to him, hug him, kiss him, and be there for him.

I asked "what did I do/didn't do that made you feel that way?". He didn't answer and kept deflecting with jokes, goofing around with me or playing a game on his phone.

I kept asking him to communicate with me and said that if I made him feel this way on our trip this week, to let me know so I can fix it. I don't want him to feel that way because he's so amazing and I don't want him to think that every trip will be one where I ignore him.

As I was leaving, he walked me out to my car and there I asked him, " why wont you talk to me about this?" And he said he just didn't want to. I told him, "we need to communicate babe so I know what's going on", but he again said he didn't want to talk about it.

I feel like this trip will be a good time to show him I love him and that even around people, he's still the most important person in the world to me. But he won't even talk to me about how he feels, I don't know what to do.

Reddit, any advice on what might be going on or what I may have done? I just want him to not feel this way on this vacation as well.

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5pinktoes t1_jeh2in4 wrote

He says you ignore him when you two are on vacation and it just might be, Op.

However, when you ask him how/why/where/how he

*He didn't answer and kept deflecting with jokes, goofing around with me or playing a game on his phone*

You tried a few times to get details but he keeps blowing you off, correct, Op?

What the he11 are you supposed to do? You can't read his mind so~~

You are racking your brain, taking on an issue that you have no idea what it's about.

I'm thinking, he doesn't want to go on vacation with other people. And that's okay as long as he tells you this. You can decide on what YOU want to do about this.

But complaining about this and refusing to talk to you about it is goofy.

Him: I don't like to eat at the places you choose.

You: Where would you like to go out to eat?

Him:

You: Where would you like to go out to eat?

Him:

You: pulling your hair out trying to fix something you have no clue about.

You can't tell me you are upset about X when you refuse to tell me WHY you are upset about X.

It's goofy.

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UnsightlyFuzz t1_jeh18k6 wrote

What occurs to me is, he may have felt he didn't mix as well with others on the trip as you and they did, and would like a little help "fitting in" socially. Is he generally a little shy? You did say he's more reserved.

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ThrowRAHelpMe13 OP t1_jeh1f8x wrote

Yes, he is more shy but we've known these people for a few years now. He knows them really well and we are all ffiends. We usually keep our touchy relationshipness to ourselves in private so I'm not sure what happened.

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A2Z-THC t1_jeh2mq6 wrote

Sounds like he playing games.

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hisimpendingbaldness t1_jeh1iva wrote

Just enjoy yourself and don't let your bf pout and ruin your good time.

He is acting like an immature child, in his defense he is one.

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