My(20F) boyfriend (20M) of a year wants to be “more affectionate” after being away for a weekend.

Submitted by partbrass t3_127rkek in relationship_advice

Hi everyone so this may just be nothing but I am a bit confused as to why he’s started acting like this.

To start; some context is my boyfriend and I are generally pretty affectionate towards each other. We hold hands and hug in public and in private spend a lot of time cuddling or touching in some way. Neither of us are huge fans of PDA so we try to keep that minimal. We both agreed that this is what we like and seem satisfied by it.

So three weeks ago my boyfriend and I had a bit of a disagreement over future plans, but we had managed to work through it and come to an agreement to not worry about it since we are only 20 years old. We had been fine for the rest of the week, though we had little to no time together since he was going away for the weekend with his all male friends and he had to get ahead of work.

So he went on his trip, we did not talk very much (like 2 conversations a day maybe) since he was busy and I wanted him to have boy’s time. He came back and immediately was very affectionate, like would not leave my side for a minute and constantly touching and hugging me even in public. I chalked that up to him missing me since this is common when we are separated for a period of time. I assumed it would subside and go back to how it normally was within a few days.

Its been two weeks and he is still being very affectionate and attached. I had to go home this weekend for an event and he seemed upset by it. I understand we have not had a weekend together in a month due to other activities occupying the time but he struggled to let me go. I even offered to let him come with me, but he had work so he could not come. When I was leaving he kept hugging, kissing, and telling me he would miss me, which is unusual since we normally depart with a hug and kiss and “be safe”. Our normally 5 minute exchange became 30 minutes.

I asked him what was wrong and if he would rather I stay, since it was not a necessary event, but he said nothing was wrong he was just being more affectionate. I asked him why and his answer was “just because”. I have been home for a day and I have essentially been spammed with messages about how much he misses me and how he feels about me.

I don’t think he’s cheating/cheated, but I am unsure of how to broach the topic since I feel a bit uncomfortable with all the affection and not much reasoning.

TLDR; my boyfriend and I had a disagreement, he went on a boy’s trip, now he’s being overly affectionate “just because”. Idk how to tell him it makes me uncomfortable.

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blockparted t1_jefi2os wrote

> He came back and immediately was very affectionate, like would not leave my side for a minute and constantly touching and hugging me even in public.

While he was on that trip, he probably had a talk with his friends wherein he compared your relationship to theirs and realized he needed to step up his game.

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AffectionateWheel386 t1_jefihn3 wrote

I would question what happened on the boys trips. Most married women know when your husband buy jewelry or lots of roses that he’s done something bad. The fact that he’s insecure about you going is even more telling he’s afraid. Maybe you will do what he did something is up.

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MckittenMan t1_jefou6x wrote

When I read something like this, I have two trail of thoughts.

Benefit of the doubt: Something triggered him to want to be a better partner for you.

Other side: Trying to make up for something he did...

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partbrass OP t1_jefv4tc wrote

Replying to MckittenMan (#2,541,331)

Thats what I was thinking, I don’t think he cheated because he really struggles with taking to other women, but maybe a lady hit on him or something? Otherwise he may just have decided to be more affectionate because he was without me.

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partbrass OP t1_jefvjis wrote

Replying to AffectionateWheel386 (#2,539,369)

Thats fair, I dont think he cheated because he struggles to talk to other women in general, but maybe a lady said something to him and he got uncomfortable with it. He doesn’t really like to share when he’s uncomfortable with others behaviors, excluding mine which he will tell me, so maybe thats it. He might feel bad about it.

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