Submitted by lexsau t3_127oq97 in relationship_advice
I still think of my ex and i dont know why
I’m 20F, he’s 20M we broke up 9 months ago, we were together for almost 2 years.
The relationship felt like two people so passionate and in love, we got so close so quickly and were joined at the hip after the first night we spoke. We bonded over similarities in our childhoods and it made us both feel accepted and understood.
The relationship very slowly became abusive. We had our fights and we both got fiery until i started to genuinely fear him and backed down from the yelling. It got physical a few times which progressed as the relationship did, nothing major but he scared me althought His words and anger is what i feared the most, his words were cruel, all he wanted to do was win and defeat me, anything i said he had something 10 times worse to cut into me with. I’d think he was genuinely losing his mind. He was controlling, he didn’t trust me, he would go through my phone… But i know this already all too well. And we broke up.
I’ve never felt as free as i do now, im beyond happy and the world feels brighter again, i enjoy my alone time and building back friendships that i cherish. He isnt In my heart anymore and i dont miss him. I dont love him and i dont Want him. But i often still find myself thinking about him, i dont know why. In the past ive gotten over relationships very quickly. But he sticks around in my mind. I think of him every day, i wonder where he is or what he is doing, if i’m ever going to see him randomly.. i still want to cry when i think about him
I just want some advice on how to get through this or what’s going on so i’m not carrying the weight of emotions i don’t want to be anymore.
Tldr: i still think of my ex n i dont want to
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