i'm in midwestern america, live in a suburb of likely its shittiest town. i had no idea that depression actually caused problems with your brain, thought it just messed with your conscious approach to the day and thought process, however you're right as every bone and organ in our bodies can be damaged. alcohol is something i originally tried for this issue and it was a trememdous failure. sure in the present moment i felt calmed and worry free, but i quickly became dependent on it, where after only drinking 3 days straight i tried to stop for a week and couldnt even carry out simple tasks lucidly, as the desire to drink was causing my hands to shake and mind to spin. seems like you're right about the "giving up on things too easily", reflecting, it does look like an actual pattern. only problem is, even as you may be correct, im still terribly scared of antidepressents. its like im giving in to the helplessness and deciding that im too much of a lost cause for a personal fix so i need to use (side effect prone, creativity altering, energy reducing) pills that, god for bid i do not want to become dependent on, and one day try to go off them and experience withdrawal.