Here_To_Read_ t1_jedu7ow wrote on March 31, 2023 at 8:33 AM

Reply to comment by ThrowRAselfdestruct in I, 23M ended a perfectly good relationship with my gf who's 22F for what feels like a mental problem and fits a pattern i desperately want to break out of.... by ThrowRAselfdestruct

I honestly don't know, because you lack persistence. You try things once and then meh, didn't work. Which is fine, I get it, I've been there way too many times.

Thing is, you're 23, you said your depressions started at about 7 years old. That's 16 years. After all this time, and let me be frank here, your brain is fucked up beyond holistic approach. Holistic as in meditation, sport, nutrition, thinking happy thoughts.

Thing about depression is, what starts as a mental symptome can become a physical symptome. Depression literally fries synapses and transmitters in your brain that transmit serotonin and dopamine and they cannot be restored without medication, I'm sorry to break it to you.

Antidepressants rebuild these connections in your brain. Yes there are antidepressants that will make you foggy, make you lose your sex drive, make you gain weight etc. But there are also alot that don't. Alot that actually help you in combination with therapy. It's the only advice I can give you, I'm sorry. I know it's hard. I've been there. I also refused antidepressants for the very longest time and thought I just had to get myself together, but that just didn't work. But in the end, what works for one doesn't have to for someone else. But you need to seek any form of medical help. And it takes time to even find the right GP nowadays, no matter where you're from. I know how fucked up the American medial system is. I'm German, ours is not better, you have to wait for up to a year to see a specialist or find a therapy spot, it's just free. The British health system is a joke too. I know it's hard, I know it's alot. But wanting to better yourself and get better is already the first step. You can't do this all by yourself.

ThrowRAselfdestruct OP t1_jeeq3jx wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:04 PM

i'm in midwestern america, live in a suburb of likely its shittiest town. i had no idea that depression actually caused problems with your brain, thought it just messed with your conscious approach to the day and thought process, however you're right as every bone and organ in our bodies can be damaged. alcohol is something i originally tried for this issue and it was a trememdous failure. sure in the present moment i felt calmed and worry free, but i quickly became dependent on it, where after only drinking 3 days straight i tried to stop for a week and couldnt even carry out simple tasks lucidly, as the desire to drink was causing my hands to shake and mind to spin. seems like you're right about the "giving up on things too easily", reflecting, it does look like an actual pattern. only problem is, even as you may be correct, im still terribly scared of antidepressents. its like im giving in to the helplessness and deciding that im too much of a lost cause for a personal fix so i need to use (side effect prone, creativity altering, energy reducing) pills that, god for bid i do not want to become dependent on, and one day try to go off them and experience withdrawal.