Submitted by ThrowRA_throwaways t3_127kfg6 in relationship_advice
So basically me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 years now and I have moved in to his house, with his mum. So the relationship was going great when I was visiting, I would stay over a month then go back to my house for a month and his mum was fine, she was nice, welcoming, chatty, just normal mum things. But when I moved in I realised that he depends on his mum for almost EVERYTHING! He doesn’t even know how to wash his own clothes or put a plaster on his finger. He can’t even make a sandwich for himself. When he’s hungry he just asks him mum if she can make something for him, or he asks me. I try to encourage him to do it for himself but his mum is just babying him, she’s like “oh don’t worry about it I’ll do it” and stuff like that. The only chores I’ve seen him do is wash the dishes or hoover the living room. That’s it. I cook my own food or sometimes I will make food for all of us (his dad is around too but not really bothered also my bf is an only child). I don’t mind making meals sometimes I quite enjoy cooking. But what the post it about is that I feel like I’m in a 3 way with his mum. She is everywhere like a rash. I know it’s her house but still. When me and my bf have an argument or something and he is visibly upset his mum is like oh what’s wrong and he just spills everything to her, then she gets all involved and sits us both down for a talk. I have said to my bf that I don’t want him telling his mum everything because some stuff is private to me. And he can’t drive so his mum drives him everywhere so we can’t even go out by ourselves because she drives, she injects herself into conversations and wants to know everything that goes on. I feel like I have to compete with his mum for his attention. And if we are out by ourselves he can’t go a day without phoning her or texting her constantly. I feel like I’m becoming his sister, second mum or in a 3 way. I love him so much but I feel annoyed almost on a daily basis. And when I think into the future and if we have kids I don’t want his mum raising my own kids!!! And when he moves out he wants to live 5 mins away and he says he will visit them every day. And I said what if I’m at work? And he says oh I will just take the kids to mums and she can help, aka raise them for him. I have tried to talk to him about being independent and getting away from her for a bit and living his life but he just says oh you don’t understand (because I don’t speak to my mum). But I just keep coming back that I don’t want this woman raising my kids and being around 24/7.
We are going on holiday soon, just me and him but I know he’s going to be calling and texting her constantly. If he does I will have to say something because it’s for us, not her. She treats us like we are both 12 and I think she has done that so much to him that he just thinks he’s still a child and doesn’t realise his age because she has brainwashed him and not given him any independence.
AutoModerator t1_jeeg4yr wrote
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.