We've been together for 6 months and have a great relationship in most ways, we've had some issues with him being a bit insecure and controlling at times but we had a really good talk a few weeks ago and everything's been better since. However there's one issue that hasn't really changed from the start of our relationship to now - he's unable to hide his disappointment and treats me differently when I don't feel up to sex.

For context we have sex at least once pretty much every single time we see each other. We live separately but take turns staying at each others place. So we spend most nights together, and this will often naturally lead to sex. Recently I've started a new job so I'm adapting to a new sleep schedule, and I'm giving 110% so I'm exhausted when I get home. This means we've only been having sex maybe every other night. When we first met, I was having issues with yeast infections because of the frequency and roughness of the sex, which I was VERY happy with, but the infections were quite difficult to deal with until I adapted to his size and he stayed on top of his hygiene. I love having sex with him, sometimes it can just feel like a chore if I'm too tired and I never want something so special to feel that way. He never, ever overtly pressures me or is cruel to me when I'm not in the mood. He has never once made me feel unsafe in sexual scenarios with him and we have always been able to have healthy, open discussions about boundaries. But in a way, that almost makes this issue so much more confusing and like I'm making too big a deal out of it.

For example, two nights ago, I came to see him after we finished work, but I finished at 5pm and he didn’t get off til 11pm. So I had taken extra time to shower and shave, and put on some nice lingerie. I really wanted to have sex with him that night, but by the time we went to bed around midnight I was exhausted. We kind of collapsed into bed, he asked if I was in the mood and I told him I was worried I'd start and not follow through due to exhaustion. He's said before he gets more frustrated if we start/stop than if we never start at all, so I've stopped myself from initiating if I don't think I have enough energy for full intercourse, or much else. The next morning he noticed I'd shaved and he asked if I was "planning on initiating", to which I apologised and said yes, but I ended up being too tired. He seemed a little put off by this. It's so hard to explain how he reacts because it's so subtle. But whenever I say I'm not in the mood, or I've even noticed it happening when I've just fallen asleep unexpectedly so sex hasn't been proposed at all, he won't be as affectionate, he'll sigh in bed next to me, he'll turn away from me... I've tried to point this out to him and how deflated it makes me feel, but he just says he doesn't treat me differently.

We are supposed to move in together in the summer and I'm honestly kind of worried about how much sex he'll expect from me. He always says it's never an expectation and sometimes when I tell him I feel used or hurt by his reaction to me not wanting to have sex, he'll actively improve and is noticeably more sensitive towards me. But after a few days things go back to the same as before. I love having sex with him, and he says it's not about orgasming, it's about the intimacy and closeness he wants with me. He knows I have no problem with him masturbating if he needs relief, I've even let him touch me to help himself along when I'm too tired. I just don't know what else to do. It's getting to the point where I almost want to have sex for 30 minutes just so the rest of the day can be a little easier in terms of how affectionate he is towards me. When sex doesn't happen he can definitely be a bit cold and frustrated. But I already feel like we have sex as frequently, if not more frequently, than most couples who live together, let alone still live separately.

Whenever I bring up the issue I'm told it's not an issue, I'm reading into things or that he just wants to be close to me. But I can never seem to be intimate with him (I LOVE making out, but it turns me off so much when making out ALWAYS leads to sex, and he gets turned on by it so easily) without it leading to anything else that maybe I don't have the energy for. It's getting to the point where I just won't make out with him or be too touchy in case he feels led on.

Edit: I won't be answering any DMs with specific questions about our sex life. If you have a question please leave a comment and I'll answer it if I'm comfortable. I love my partner, I'm not here to describe my fantasies to anyone over DM.