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Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 t1_je3zihb wrote

Reply to comment by ThrowRApleasehelpo in Should I (19f) end things with my unemployed bf (24m) by ThrowRApleasehelpo

I would maybe show him this post or set your talk up like that. Say you get the feeling he is not putting in the effort and that he expects it to fall out of the air etc. And then let him speak if he agrees or what he thinks about it.

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ThrowRApleasehelpo OP t1_je3zpvg wrote

I just worry that it isn’t my place. I know in med school I will have to rely on my partner to handle the majority of responsibilities because I will be too busy with school, and I feel like I cannot trust him to do that. His mom gave him a time frame of when to find a job or she’d kick him out, and he did not meet it. I feel like he does not comprehend having a full time job and adult responsibilities. Is there anyway you’d prefer to be told about your partners expectations? I do not want to hurt him.

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Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 t1_je406ix wrote

How is it not your place? Your his partner. And i can understand his moms approach if it hasn't clicked for him now. I don't think it will soon.

> I feel like he does not comprehend having a full time job and adult responsibilities

That is a big problem if you want to build a life and have a future together. Does he already handle responsibilities? Like household chores since he is at home?

I would prefer straight to the point and no beating around the bush. I think his feelings will be hurt anyways.

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ThrowRApleasehelpo OP t1_je40fps wrote

Thank you for your help. I have tried to talk to him about it but seem to struggle with being direct due to not wanting to hurt his feelings. All I want for him is to have a fulfilling life and it saddens me to see how he doesn’t understand that his parents are having to financially support him and how he has options but doesn’t really see that he does. I spoke to him about my concern for med school and he believes he is capable of having a full time job while cooking, cleaning, etc while I study 12+ hours a day, however his actions now say otherwise. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to help me gain clarity on this. I do agree with you and you’re incredibly helpful

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Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 t1_je40kdz wrote

You are welcome. Goodluck talking to him.

>I spoke to him about my concern for med school and he believes he is capable of having a full time job while cooking, cleaning, etc while I study 12+ hours a day, however his actions now say otherwise

This is correct. Goodluck with this and with medical school. I hope the relationship can work out.

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