(29F)(26M) my boyfriend cheated in the most bizarre situation I cannot comprehend. How do I heal?

Submitted by ThrowRAmistaken65 t3_11ehxt1 in relationship_advice

I was dating 26M for 9 months as his “girlfriend” while he had another “girlfriend” for 8 months. I left him as soon as I found out. The other woman is still with him.

We did meet to discuss/help eachother process and heal. I thought she was going to leave as well. She is 21, just finished college and had a baby in college. Baby was 3 months when she and my ex met. Their second date he slept over and help care for the baby over night! She lives with her mom and it just like completely shocking to me that as she is recovering and dealing with baby daddy drama, she is dating and allowing a stranger to sleep in a house with her, her mom and the baby- while he has a full other girlfriend mind you. How am I supposed to process this and heal? I have already blocked them both. She wants to stay with him and start therapy.

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MckittenMan t1_jae96pd wrote

NGL, that sounds like a delusional 21 year old move to make.

>Still dealing with baby daddy drama from past relationship. And our entire relationship you had another girlfriend.
>
>Sign me up!

Sounds unreally desperate.

And we're sure the baby is not his, right?

I am sorry that you had to find out this way and go through this. But you dodged a massive long term bullet.

The fact your ex is so keen on keeping their relationship going, shows how low of a person he is. I bet he loves the fact that he's got a 21 year old wrapped around his finger. He manipulated you the entire time, and is doing the same to her now. He is not a good person.

That's their problem, and no longer yours.

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Flashleyredneck t1_jae4een wrote

First of all, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. And good job on blocking them both. I think it’s in your best interest to have no contact with either of those people from now on. Know that you will heal from this. It’s probably gonna hurt for a while but you were eventually will get over it. Time will help you until the time passes, spend time and energy on yourself do things to make you happy take you out on dates by yourself flowers get your hair done take a course and something interesting just for fun that you like go out with friends surround yourself with positive people and positive influences try exercising just to make yourself feel better with those endorphins spend time with family that you love that makes you feel good. Take dogs for a walk to the animal shelter just focus on you and who you want to become and you will heal from this. I’m so sorry it happened. Also know that you didn’t deserve any of this. It shows that he is a terrible person and it shows nothing about you or that you’re loving and willing to look for the good of people this wasn’t your fault in the slightest.

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ThrowRAmistaken65 OP t1_jae4rne wrote

Thank you for your reply. I’m moreso just like in shock over the whole situation. Am I weird to be grossed out/confused about their second date!? Forget that he was already dating me, I just feel bad for this kid and his safety.

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NDaveT t1_jaeb85a wrote

It's OK to be grossed out, but try not to waste too much brainpower even thinking about him. He's not worth it.

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ThrowRAmistaken65 OP t1_jaebgf2 wrote

I know you are right! It’s so hard to turn my brain off I am definitely in shock.

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