My 31F Boyfriend 30M is uneasy about me hanging out with new people.

Submitted by suspicious_badonk t3_11e5y6i in relationship_advice

I recently moved to the suburbs in the East Coast and have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months. I don't have a ton of friends because I just moved.

My boyfriend has a group of friends I have never met that he hangs out with on most Friday or Saturday nights. Drinking, playing games - what not. If not, he would be spending it with me. I met his other friends but not this group. Anyway, I trust he is an adult and isn't doing anything stupid. So I never asked to join or meet them; this is the more or less the single guy's group with maybe a few girls joining the mix. Plus they know I exist.

What bothered me is recently I befriended 2 guys who went to the same high school as me. They go to social group events such has hiking, game nights at breweries or arcade bars - I have been invited. I thought well hey, if my boyfriend has plans on weekend nights I can also get a life. And if my boyfriend wants us to spend time together on certain weekend nights then I will spend it with him. They know my boyfriend exists. My boyfriend is uneasy about the situation and doesn't want me to be spending too much time with them. But I am not spending time with just them, I am joining them for group events.

Is it double standards?! I'm not staying out till 2 AM drinking like my boyfriend and I am doing group activities.

I think I'm being fair. Maybe I'm not? What you think?

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trishsf t1_jacip26 wrote

Why aren’t you spending time together? It doesn’t sound like much of a relationship if you both are choosing to spend your weekends with other people. Honestly it doesn’t look like a relationship at all.

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suspicious_badonk OP t1_jacj6kk wrote

We spend Sundays together. He works Monday - Saturday. So he wants to have a guys night Saturday.

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trishsf t1_jacpyqc wrote

Okay. I would want someone who wanted me on their one free night. But that’s me.

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Rip_Dirtbag t1_jacj9nz wrote

Gross double standards. Your bf needs to see how hypocritical he is being.

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TattooPuddle t1_jacidah wrote

I'm guessing he's uneasy because they're dudes, which just screams insecurity since obviously men and women are capable of being friends.

Just remind him that they are just friends, they know he exists and that you aren't single, and you're trying to make friends and feel less alone. Don't cut out friends for a dude.

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Noetherville t1_jacmzfj wrote

Double standards. Not attractive.

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ayylmao2016 t1_jadc7pq wrote

Fair or not one or both of those guys wants to sleep with you and your boyfriend knows it. That's a struggle for any insecure young man.how will you react if one of them starts hitting on you during an overnight camping trip. What if one of these guys is an old flame. Why would a woman want to go camping overnight with two guys she hasn't seen since high school. Who knows what other questions he can dream up. I'm not saying don't have friends, just a few things to consider.

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suspicious_badonk OP t1_jadcjvv wrote

The two guys are brothers. I'm older than them, I have no interest. Their sister is my classmate but she moved far away. I'm not going to overnight camping with them. I'm joining them for group events with 6+ people.

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