So I've (26f) recently started dating my current gf (25f), it's barely been two months of our relationship. When we started talking I told her I believed I was poly and was scared to get into a relationship with her because of it as before her I only had one relationship ever and it was a 5yr old monogamous relationship.

My gf is definitely monogamous but she liked me enough and was willing to try as long as we talked it out. Ever since I started talking to my current girlfriend one of my friends (19f) started throwing hints that she also liked me (technically she said she's been throwing hints since October, and I'm just an idiot so she had to go harsher in the hints) this friend is also in a current poly relationship with her girlfriend.

It only took a couple of days after being in a relationship with my current girlfriend and to also start a relationship with my friend. I told my girlfriend about it and she was kind of upset at how soon it was, but we talked it out and she seemed okay with it.

So for a good month we've been doing what I assumed was a decent poly relationship. Until Valentine's Day.. so me and my girlfriend knew that we probably wouldn't see each other on Valentine's Day because we both worked. So the Saturday before Valentine's Day I pulled out all the stops and made a really cute Valentine's Day surprise. And then on the day of Valentine's Day after work I hung out with my "friend".

Neither me nor my friend didn't think much of it because we both were doing Valentine's Day with our respective partners and not each other. We hung out on Valentine's Day because it happened to fall on a Tuesday and that was the day we always hung out. My girlfriend always knew that we hung out on Tuesdays too but I guess because all of her friends were asking what we're doing for Valentine's Day she thought about me being with another girl and had a mental breakdown. So me and my friend stopped having an intimate relationship because we didn't like how it was making my gf break down.

A week later my friend asked for a ride to the hang out spot where our friend group was hanging out. I didn't take much of it but I did tell my girlfriend that I was picking her up and bringing her to hang out in a group session. But that didn't sit well with my girlfriend and she had another upset episode over it.

I decided to give her some space because I thought that was the best course of action and she told me she wanted us to not see each other for a couple of days and I'm really bad with people because once again this is only my second relationship so I felt like that was over and I told her she wanted me to I can bring her back her house key. Which I guess upset her more because she felt like I was giving up on us that easily, when in reality that was crying over it but I thought that's what would've been best. But once again we were able to talk it out and continue our relationship.

Fast forward to this week, last night. I got into a fight with my roommate and I was spending the night at my girlfriend's house and I was talking to my sister and my friend's name came up and my girlfriend found out that my roommate would hang out with my friend and I sometimes and that I don't know upset my girlfriend. But we were able to talk about it immediately and it was only a small problem.

But here's the current problem. Today my friend burnt herself badly at work and asked me to bring burn cream. So of course I was bringing her burn cream and it just so happened to be during my girlfriend's lunch so I told my girlfriend that I'm bringing my friend burn cream because she hurt herself and my girlfriend just told me she was tired of hearing my friend's name. And that maybe I shouldn't come back tonight because she's tired of it all. We had plans for spaghetti dinner and everything but she doesn't want me back right now.

Also a couple things for clarification:

every time me and my girlfriend had a discussion about my friend I explained to her that I will not have an intimate relationship with my friend but that friend has been way too good to me for me to cut her out completely and my girlfriend agreed that she doesn't want me to cut her out completely but then gets upset when I talk to her or anybody talks about her or I go see her (which is barely once a week now)

My roommate is my ex-girlfriend. We believe she's high functioning autistic. There is no romantic relationship there whatsoever and my girlfriend knows and understands that. My girlfriend has had said she has no care about my roommate because she knows that there's no relationship there and the reason why it upset my girlfriend that my roommate hangs out with me and my friend just because my roommate is also very introverted and has a huge problem hanging out with my girlfriend but I guess kind of likes hanging out with my friend.

I constantly tell my girlfriend that I love her and that I see my future with her I do not see my future with my friend but I do care about my friend a lot. Me and my friend see our futures with our respective partners but we still really care about each other as well. We've stopped any intimate relationship because of the pain it caused my girlfriend but my girlfriend does know that I really do care about her and I do understand that that's a huge reason for our fights.

If I could just not care so much about my friend I know it'll make things easier but that friend has been there with me through a lot. And so I just don't want to cut her out. But I see my future with my girlfriend. And so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because I really don't want to lose either of them. But my friend is going to step back if her presence keeps causing fights between me and my girlfriend. And my girlfriend may break up with me soon