I am so sorry you’ve gone through all of this. So many people can’t or won’t believe men can be abused, and they absolutely can be and are abused.

If I may offer up some advice? Please try to only communicate through writing with her; written words can’t be as easily twisted as spoken words. If you must interact with her in person, make sure you’re recording the interaction, even if you’re not in a single party consent state. Try to get custody of your children. Your ex doesn’t sound very healthy, especially if she’s yelling about your genitalia to them.