cordebono t1_jae9ksv wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:26 PM

It is never your fault when you communicate what you are lacking in your marriage. My partner is a gamer and loves it. Has taken days off for WOW tournaments and releases. He always asks if im okay with that and makes himself available and best of all whenever we watch something he is never on his phone. Its a boundary I made to him. A relationship needs to 2 people give it their all.

I personally recommend to have one last sit down with your partner. Turn off wifi and leave phones whatever other devices in a different room if thats what it takes.

You need your husband to be present in this marriage and if they are not willing to give that then they need let you know so you can find someone who is actually willing to pay attention to you.

What they is a addiction and if they want actual make this marriage work. They need therapy and heavily dial down the gaming.

THROWRA022823 OP t1_jaec76y wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:44 PM

Thank you. I feel crazy but the more I journal and talk to my therapist about it, the more I feel like I have a right to feel the way I do. And that there has to be a balance somewhere. The first time it ever got really bad was because of WOW. It was 24/7 to not lose game progress. They knew more about people’s kids schedules than our own.

I feel like I would be 100% ok with it if all responsibilities are done (they often slack on their responsibilities to game- dishwasher, pets)

I really like the boundaries you have set and am so glad they work for you! I get that they love gaming and I don’t want to take that away. I have tried similar and it’s just the “you’ll never be happy unless I’m not gaming” or a huff about how I’m harassing them. I feel like a mom.

It seems like their therapist supports their gaming as an outlet. They didn’t play for a week after our conversation and they said their therapist “was worried”. And it just makes me feel like they’re getting an echo chamber but I don’t know.

Thank you so much for your advice and support ❤️

cordebono t1_jaee6yh wrote on February 28, 2023 at 8:56 PM

Yes, yes you will be freaking happy when you can spend time with your husband without them staring at a screen. What you are asking for is in my eyes an easy and valid request.

Might I suggest marriage counseling? You and your husband seems to need that. At the end you need decide if things aren’t changing. Is this how you picture marriage to be like? Can you see yourself living like this for years and years to come?

I wish you all the best and I hope you will end up with the life you need and deserve! You got my support!

THROWRA022823 OP t1_jaegzf4 wrote on February 28, 2023 at 9:14 PM

That’s the biggest thing I circle on is that “I can’t spend the rest of my life like this” and getting married kind of made that turn from a thing in the back of my head to a blaring red sign.

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️