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its_aq t1_ja879u7 wrote

Omg the responses are filled with people who has no reading comprehension.

OP is asking for advice on how to communicate her feelings to her roommate. She wasn't asking for an explanation on the roommates rights.

OP, You can wait til she gets back and have a sit down to go through your feelings specifically about how much better emotionally you've gotten and that you think you might want to move out after the lease is up (if you really determined you want to live alone). This will either slap your roommate awake on the things she does to invade your personal space.

OR

You can take the passive aggressive route with a "ahh I really got into a whole vibe while you were gone. Hope you don't kill it when you get back lol"

I personally would take the first direct approach. I will say this to note, you two can still be friends and not be compatible as living mates.

I have a friend who's a pig while I'm a neat freak. We're like brothers but I can NEVER live with him. I'd lose my mind.

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xdem112 t1_ja8ayrk wrote

Because what OP is pissed off about is insanely entitled and whiney. They had no problem continuing to pocket two months of rent money while her friend was away instead of bringing it up way earlier. If they were truly into the vibe of living alone, they should have got ahold of their friend way earlier and moved the hell out to live alone. I had to read the ages because I thought OP and her friend were 18-19 by the shit she’s trying to pull.

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its_aq t1_ja8bk03 wrote

But that wasn't what she was asking advice on.

Hence my emphasis on reading comprehension part. She was purely asking "moving forward, how can I communicate this to my roommate".

She didn't ask "how should I have done it earlier" or "what could I have done better".

This is an advice sub (for future actions), not a judgement sub (for past actions)

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xdem112 t1_ja8clmm wrote

Who says? Judgement can be advice in itself when someone is completely lacking self awareness. Calling someone out for being an entitled shit-bird can totally be advice if they’re willing to take it as a wake up call.

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its_aq t1_ja8d9dm wrote

You believe judgement and advice is the same thing?

Advice is direct. Example, based on the context, you should do XYZ.

Your self reasoning on how judgement can be perceived as advice is not direct. It is perception.

A simple dictionary explains the difference quite clearly.

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xdem112 t1_ja8eq61 wrote

By that logic, calling what the majority of people commented here “judgement” is completely off as well. Being pedantic just completely dismantles what you were complaining about to begin with.

“You’re acting entitled and should get over it” is the advice the majority dished out. You have to use your “judgement” to dish out “advice” that aligns with your morals. My judgment is this comment was stupid and a really weird way to argue. My advice would be not to attempt to use literal meanings of words when coming to the defense of someone who’s acting like a jackass.

Sometimes the advice is truly to get the hell over it and take the moment to reflect on the reality check that was dished to you by strangers online. People truly need to be dragged out of their own head at times.

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