I am a (36M) African university professor, working in the US

I met my wife (21F) last year through family and I went back to my country (in West Africa) to marry before coming back to the US. My wife is a gorgeous light-skinned black girl with green eyes (a rarity in my country).

I didn’t tell any of my friends in the US that I was getting married, including my African friends.

For context:

Me “Pierre”: a 36M from West Africa, a University professor in the US

Wife “Aimee”: a 21F from my country, a recent college graduate (not the same university). I first messaged her online, Jan 2022.

Friend “Rochelle”: a 34F from my country, a University professor in the US. She and Liz are good friends. Rochelle and I have been friends since 2015.

Best Friend “Liz”: a 30F white American woman, a University professor in the US. Liz and I have been friends since 2017.

Rochelle called me after my wedding, shocked that I didn’t tell any of the Africans in the US. I figured it was not any body’s business. She knew that I had gone back to our country to visit my family, but I hadn’t told her about my fiancee. In our culture, it is very normal for someone not to meet their future spouse in person until a week or two before the wedding.

Rochelle, Liz, and I all met in grad school. Even though Liz is white, she is my best friend. In grad school, Rochelle always pushed me to ask out Liz, but I could never be with a white woman. I do not want to be colonized by her. Over time, I realized that I was falling in love with Liz, but because of our cultural differences, there’s no way it would ever work. She is a white American from the South, though sometimes she is the one to teach me about civil rights leaders or Black American culture.

Even though Liz and I are from different countries, we have similar upbringings. We both had abusive fathers and she has a hard time trusting men.

When we would phone during Covid, we could talk for hours. She was my beacon of light. I think she’s the best person in the world.

But Covid and the loneliness got to me, which is why I asked my family to find me a wife. In my country, I am considered a little too old to be married for the first time. My family set me up with a girl, and I just had to wait until her summer after college. In my country, large age gaps are not a big deal. As soon as a girl is 19, she is marriageable.

When Rochelle texted me right after the wedding, she asked, “Did you tell Liz?”

The truth is, I hadn’t thought about it. I didn’t think it would affect Liz. “Pierre, you broke her heart.”

Liz called me a few weeks after the wedding. She told me it was unfair for me to have led her one for so long, and that I should have told her about having a girlfriend, let alone getting married. Liz said I betrayed her trust by getting married like that, as she says “out-of-the-blue”. But I didn’t even know she liked me!

I sincerely believe it is not my fault for getting married. She does not have the right to be upset when she never said that she had feelings for me.

I am outraged that Liz wants to end our friendship just because I’m married. I do not want to live without her in my life. It is unfair for her to punish me like this. I want things to be like they were.

Rochelle has told me to get divorced, since I still love Liz. But Liz is white, and I want to have children that look like me. Also, Liz has gained a lot of weight during grad school and has some health problems, and I am sure that she would be terrible in bed. Liz is pretty, but I deserve to be with someone as good-looking as me.

My wife is gorgeous and she lasts all night. Incredible passion. Talking with her is boring, but I can tolerate her enough for the next few decades.

How can I convince Liz that she has no right to end our friendship over something so small? She did not tell me that she had feelings for me, and she has no right to feel angry that I got married without telling her.

TLDR; I am a 36M African professor married to a 21F African girl. I am in love with my 30F white female best friend, and she is angry with me for getting married without telling her. How do I convince 30F she is being ridiculous?