I’m 29 (M) dating a 36 (F). Parents and brother won’t accept the fact I’m with her and keep telling me when she ages it’ll be a problem. They won’t hear me out at all.

Submitted by Bigdaddiie t3_11eenji in relationship_advice

I am currently going over a very tough break up with a girl that I think I loved because my parents wouldn’t except her for her age. I understand I am a man of my own and should make decisions for myself but my family has been through a lot in the earlier stages of our life so we are very connected so it’s hard for me to just disregard what they have to say and possibly disown me.

They have put this thought in my head that as she ages it’s going to become a problem with the physical features, lack of sex drive and just overall energy. I also want 2 to 3 kids so I don’t know if that is something that she could still provide for me.

I love this girl because I haven’t stopped hurting over her but I am at a crossroad and I am looking for any advice or insight as an observer to my situation. Thank you all for listening.

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jadjt30 wrote

She's 36....not 60.

She isn't aging excessively different than you are.

Also, it's pretty normal now for woman to have child into their 40s because of careers and financial stability etc.

Perhaps, it's best you let her go. Regardless of how much you've been through as a family they shouldn't have this much control over your life. Maybe it's best you let her go so she can find someone emotional mature and has a back bone.

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jadl6yf wrote

Replying to Bigdaddiie (#2,114,629)

I just want to point one more thing out though.

As you mentioned you didn't want to be disowned by them. Perhaps, if they're willing to disown you a grown man, over a relationship of your choosing than you value them more than they value you. Just some food for thought.

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benicebitch t1_jadl782 wrote

Your parents are either morons or they are hiding the real issue here.

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Bigdaddiie OP t1_jadnjqh wrote

Replying to the-mirrors-truth (#2,114,996)

They are good people but I can fully understand why this situation would say otherwise. My parents do have more control on me than they should, I agree. But the unconditional love and sacrifices they have made for me growing up up until today hasn’t been forgotten either.

I’ve brought back home acouple other girls in my earlier years and although they didn’t like them both they didn’t object to me dating them cause they were similar my age. The age is the only thing that’s the problem.

But in response to what you said. Damn. That’s very deep and insightful. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my thread.

I’m feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in my life, so thanks for helping with the pain although there’s ugly truth in there haha.

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the-mirrors-truth t1_jadq01v wrote

Replying to Bigdaddiie (#2,115,679)

I'm a mother myself, the unconditional love and sacrifices is part of the job, it's the bare minimum of what a good parent does. You can be grateful and appreciative without forfeiting yourself. Clearly, there are some conditions to their love though.

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gofyourselftoo t1_jadshaz wrote

You’re not mature enough to be in a relationship right now. You need to cut the umbilical cord that is tying you to your family’s opinions and go discover your own life.

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hisimpendingbaldness t1_jadv7er wrote

I feel for the girl.

Your age difference isn't that bad. Your emesment with your parents is the issue.

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