I’m 29 (M) dating a 36 (F). Parents and brother won’t accept the fact I’m with her and keep telling me when she ages it’ll be a problem. They won’t hear me out at all.

Submitted by Bigdaddiie t3_11eenji in relationship_advice

I am currently going over a very tough break up with a girl that I think I loved because my parents wouldn’t except her for her age. I understand I am a man of my own and should make decisions for myself but my family has been through a lot in the earlier stages of our life so we are very connected so it’s hard for me to just disregard what they have to say and possibly disown me.

They have put this thought in my head that as she ages it’s going to become a problem with the physical features, lack of sex drive and just overall energy. I also want 2 to 3 kids so I don’t know if that is something that she could still provide for me.

I love this girl because I haven’t stopped hurting over her but I am at a crossroad and I am looking for any advice or insight as an observer to my situation. Thank you all for listening.

0

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

the-mirrors-truth t1_jadjt30 wrote

She's 36....not 60.

She isn't aging excessively different than you are.

Also, it's pretty normal now for woman to have child into their 40s because of careers and financial stability etc.

Perhaps, it's best you let her go. Regardless of how much you've been through as a family they shouldn't have this much control over your life. Maybe it's best you let her go so she can find someone emotional mature and has a back bone.

9

Bigdaddiie OP t1_jadk33n wrote

You’ve given me some harsh but needed advice there. Thank you, I needed to hear that.

2

the-mirrors-truth t1_jadl6yf wrote

I just want to point one more thing out though.

As you mentioned you didn't want to be disowned by them. Perhaps, if they're willing to disown you a grown man, over a relationship of your choosing than you value them more than they value you. Just some food for thought.

2

Bigdaddiie OP t1_jadnjqh wrote

They are good people but I can fully understand why this situation would say otherwise. My parents do have more control on me than they should, I agree. But the unconditional love and sacrifices they have made for me growing up up until today hasn’t been forgotten either.

I’ve brought back home acouple other girls in my earlier years and although they didn’t like them both they didn’t object to me dating them cause they were similar my age. The age is the only thing that’s the problem.

But in response to what you said. Damn. That’s very deep and insightful. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my thread.

I’m feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in my life, so thanks for helping with the pain although there’s ugly truth in there haha.

0

the-mirrors-truth t1_jadq01v wrote

I'm a mother myself, the unconditional love and sacrifices is part of the job, it's the bare minimum of what a good parent does. You can be grateful and appreciative without forfeiting yourself. Clearly, there are some conditions to their love though.

4

gofyourselftoo t1_jadshaz wrote

You’re not mature enough to be in a relationship right now. You need to cut the umbilical cord that is tying you to your family’s opinions and go discover your own life.

6

benicebitch t1_jadl782 wrote

Your parents are either morons or they are hiding the real issue here.

3

hisimpendingbaldness t1_jadv7er wrote

I feel for the girl.

Your age difference isn't that bad. Your emesment with your parents is the issue.

3

AutoModerator t1_jadikee wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1