Women’s Center and Shelter: https://wcspittsburgh.org/

1-800-799-7233 for The National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Show her ht scrub her search history, use incognito or private browsing mode, or a VPN. Have her change every password to every online bill pay, shopping, or social media site she’s using. And tell her to block the abusers numbers, not answer texts or calls that get through, and to get off social media, including posting pics of herself out and about.

Don’t let her get caught when her abuser checks her online and phone footprint/history. Because they will.

I got out of an abusive relationship two years ago, so I have some semi-recent advice. I knew I wanted to get out of the relationship for quite a while but was scared to do so. I was very concerned about things financially as well my ex hurting or killing me.

The Women's Center and Shelter & the Center for Victims were both super helpful for me to walk through the process. Make sure when your friend leaves the relationship they have a lot of support -- the scariest time for me was when I ended the relationship. Having friends and family around and staying at my house the first few days really helped. I ended up having to get a PFA to protect myself from being harmed by my ex. That was enough to keep my ex from contacting me, but in the end it's a piece of paper and if your friend's abuser doesn't care about being arrested it won't help. The PFA, blocking my ex and their friends/relatives from all of my social media, getting a home security system, and changing my phone number all helped me to feel safer.

That first year was very scary and rough. After lots of healing and therapy I feel like a new person. I wish I wouldn't have stayed as long as I did.

Thank you so much for this advice!

Thank you so much! This is really helpful!

I have nothing to contribute, but I wish you and OP's friend a lot of love and luck and best wishes. Stay safe.

If they're also experiencing sexual violence, I 100% of the time always suggest Pittsburgh Action Against Rape. PAAR offers free therapy and finds legal services for sexual violence survivors. They helped me find legal counseling with a pro bono attorney that helped remove my abuser from my home.

The other suggestions are also good. Help keep horizons broad. I hope they listen to you before it's too late. You can't force them, but you can be there for them.

Echoing everyone's suggestions for Women's Center and Shelter!! You can call the hotline (or text the text line) yourself too if you just want to talk with someone and say to the hotline advocates exactly what you've said. They won't be able to intervene but they can talk you through resources and how to best support and what options you have.

Also, you can locate other domestic violence programs using PCADV's search tool.

Also, you can walk your friend through a safety plan. This tool from the National Hotline is really helpful for just that. You don't even need to type things in, you can just click through it. And these websites all have a safety exit. You can print it if you want, but also not required. You can answer as many or as little questions as are helpful. The tool is useful for many types of safety including but not limited to: physical, emotional, work/school, and child safety.

Neighborhood Legal Services Association does sliding scale/pro bono PFA work. I got mine back in 2020 and they made the process relatively easy. I got an emergency order and went with the police to serve it in order to safely recover my belongings from the house.

Careful planning & a generous friend is how I got out. I covered every track & still assumed he'd kill me, & I believe he would have if I hadn't also been lucky.

Best of luck to your friend.

This is the advice.

Thank you

Thank you, this is really helpful!

You're welcome!!

I'm very late but I just wanted to point out that regardless of their name, Women's Center and Shelter DOES provide resources for trans and cis men.

I wish they would publicize this more.