I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss. My dad also had throat cancer and they advised us to do a bit of chemo but to wait on surgery. Then when it got horrible, they admitted they needed to do surgery. They had to break his jaw and go in and they did a horrible job. He couldn't talk and was always in pain from muscle and bone damage. It came back again and again. He passed away a year after they told him the lump on his tongue was nothing to worry about. FUCK UPMC oncology, for REAL. I'm so sorry about your loss, that's insane what they did. I feel your pain immensely.