Wouldn’t you want to attend a church at least some before asking for a baptism? I can’t speak for the evangelicals, but any mainline Protestant denomination with the slightest bit of theological integrity will require a few classes for an adult baptism, even if you aren’t a member. And Catholics aren’t having any of that without some commitment.

You can’t just pop in and get baptized on a random Sunday. You need to go through an entire curriculum and indoctrination and classes and pay fees and get approval and a whole litany of other things.

Indoctrination? Pay fees? Huh?

Churches don’t do that for free. That will cost some amount of money. And they don’t allow anyone to just randomly get baptized. They’ll need to go to classes and get indoctrinated into their specific religion and vouch for their sincerity about being baptized and all that.

The point was you are probably already indoctrinated if you’re asking to be baptized, and I cannot think of a Christian church that charges a fee for baptism. There may be a tradition of making a donation to the church if you can afford it, but there’s not a fee.

Fee, donation, alms, whatever. It’s all the same thing. There may not be a set cost, but there is definitely an expectation of a donation. Just like eating out. Nobody is forced to tip, but in reality you have to tip.

Also, OP mentions not regularly attending a Christian church. There’s no specifics. If they were raised Baptist, I have to venture a guess that they would have to accept the teachings of the Lutheran or Catholic dogmas and be indoctrinated into a specific denomination before getting baptized.

First. Is this for you or for a child/infant? If it is for an infant, there are some priests and churches who would give a baptism ASAP if the child's life is in danger.

But, I'm assuming this is for you, so...

Second. Have you been baptized at any time in your life? If so, the majority of Christian churches will not "re-baptize" you. If you have been baptized before (even as an infant) and are looking for a new baptism, you are very limited in the churches that would consider doing this - as most Christians consider a "second baptism" by water to be pretty much a theological impossibility/nothing.

Third. Do you have a personal set of beliefs about the manner of baptism (sprinkle, pour, dunk)? Most Christians accept all as valid, but some only accept full immersion. So, how wet ya wanna get?

I'm willing to get into an argument about this, but generally speaking you can just be baptized by any other Christian and it doesn't quite matter who exactly does the drippin'. It's pretty much only Baptist and more fringe-y churches that give a shit and will re-baptize people. Although debates on this have ranged widely, the Council of Trent in the 12th Century pretty much canonized into the Western tradition that it's main thing was that the right trinitarian words were used.

I’m sure any pastor would be happy to discuss the sacrament of Baptism with you. Most churches will not just offer baptism (especially if you’ve already been baptized) but many will do a reaffirmation of faith.

I am baptized. Looking for our child.

Yes looking for our child. Was raised catholic but open to any Christian baptism.

Crazy. Can’t imagine John the Baptist needed all that. But that’s the sad part of the state of the church today. Control, and fees, and paperwork.

Child baptism.

Money and control. You basically just summed up organized religion in a nutshell haha

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That’s absurd. There’s no baptism fee. And if there is, you should leave that church.

The reason they require a class is because most people don’t understand the theology behind baptism. Many people want to dunk their children because they think it’s hell insurance. As long as I make sure my baby is baptized, I’m covered, even though I have no intention of raising them in the faith. What church should condone that?

And yes, they keep paperwork. You get a baptism certificate and the church keeps records because that community of faith is promising to help raise the child. Those records get used by historians hundreds of years later sometimes.

I’m not saying there aren’t churches that operate like businesses. And there have certainly been con-artist pastors, but it’s not fair to assume most churches are making people jump through hoops for no reason.

What part of town are you in?

This really sounds like you're asking for Christianity à la carte, a sacramental splash n' dash. It is unlikely that any congregation is going to deny a child baptism. However, they are within reason to expect that you commit to raising the child in the faith.

Lol people still believe in that?

You’re doing yourself a disservice by having a pessimistic view of religion. Consider the prosperity we experience by living in an ordered society. The order is enabled by laws that are rooted in religious tradition. Are modern religious institutions perfect? Absolutely not. To say that they are only about money and control is childish.

Like I said in another comment, they can call it a fee or alms for the poor or a donation or whatever. There is an expectation of some sort of payment.

It’s like tipping. There is no rule forcing you to leave your server a tip, but if you go out to eat, you always leave a tip. Same in this case.

I come by my pessimistic views of religion honestly. Also, I never said money and control were the ONLY things organized religions were about.

“This really sounds like you're asking for Christianity à la carte, a sacramental splash n' dash.”

This would be an excellent service for my evil little dogs ngl

I do not know how Catholics prep a family for baptism - but if I were you and I had family going to a parish in town, I’d seek to baptize there.

If you are looking to try something different (maybe you don’t dig Catholicism or want a non-male priest or something) I’d recommend you check into the churches closest to you that are a part of one of the following denominations:

• Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
• The Episcopal Church
• Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)
• United Methodist Church

All of these denominations are “mainline” (generally middle-of-the-road and nonextremist) Protestant and baptize infants.

All churches will want a good faith meeting with you and the other parent if they are involved, and would expect to you to commit to raise your child in the Christian faith. No one will ask for money, and frankly a lot of families do just come in for a baptism at a church and are never seen again except the rare Christmas service.

What, do you not leave cookies out for Santa?

Nah I leave booze.

God bless you.

Many Presbyterian (PCUSA) churches do an animal blessing in October every year. It’s one of my favorite services.