I moved like 3x in a year or so and I had to keep moving this giant 35" CRT Sony TV. It weighed a TON and had NO handles on it.

My friends that helped me move each time named the TV Jeff, because he was just a big old heavy Jeff.. idk. "all that's left is Jeff" groans...

Jeff finally died. Since Jeff ran off all my friends, I had to move him to the curb by myself. Jeff sat by my front door for a month as I tried to figure out the logistics of my next move. Then one night, snow... I rolled that miserable 300lb Jeff down the steps and tobogganed his ass thru the yard and out to the street.

A few days later I watched a scrapper struggling to pick Jeff up and the comedy of errors that followed... It was then that I realized.. Jeff was my only true friend.