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CyrusTheGoodEnough t1_j6en8yx wrote

Stealing catalytic converters in the northeast.

321

SubtleRedditIcon t1_j6ezsm3 wrote

You got it all wrong. He steals them on up to New Year’s Eve. He’s been melting them down and extracting the metals and injecting them between his toes to keep him perked up! Can’t have track marks, daddy’s got a job to keep!

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ActionJawnson t1_j6etshr wrote

I spotted him adding something to the 49ers Gatorade on the sidelines

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jamin_g t1_j6fwjcn wrote

Where is drum line Elmo?

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Linzabee t1_j6g4f37 wrote

I want to see Gritty and Drum Line Elmo drumming together at the head of a parade. Which parade I won’t say just in case.

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DFWPunk t1_j6g24s5 wrote

He was on Chestnut. People got chased off a cop car they were dancing on.

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ThatQuil91 t1_j6ftg6d wrote

Degreasing polls, bich

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gnartato t1_j6ek92f wrote

NORAD is too busy guiding the uncrackable F16's through busy controlled airspace since they decided not to turn on transponders. (Source: was looking for f16s on ADSB and had them off).

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vivagypsy t1_j6fqk0e wrote

He’s giving the pep talk to every high end stripper in Philadelphia about what’s expected of them tonight. And then taking his 10%.

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Jifeeb t1_j6fdyb2 wrote

He’s at home, washing his tights!

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HeCooksForYou t1_j6gbi62 wrote

Who do you think is flying the helicopters on Broad right now?

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olsmobile t1_j6ipuxt wrote

If you have to ask, he’s right behind you.

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KevonFire1 t1_j6gstee wrote

All star break... Probably on hiz way to 'zona.

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CQU617 t1_j6hdcc9 wrote

Great idea!

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MCKelly13 t1_j6kizxh wrote

I was wondering that same thing.

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