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Missus_Aitch_99 t1_j6gifzm wrote

It doesn’t sound like you are both really in a marriage mindset. If you were, you wouldn’t be talking about splitting the mortgage 50/50, or of his contribution to your marital home being “rent” he is paying you. You could try premarital counseling to figure it out, but I suspect staying single will work best for you.

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whosthatgirl t1_j6gjcme wrote

This isn't the info that I asked for and I think that a real marriage means that you plan for all events while in love. Including the compromise of your marriage and assets when you aren't in love from the original intent of care that started your Union. Being smart about future contingencies is excellent personal finance.

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Missus_Aitch_99 t1_j6gkmqs wrote

Okay, then each get an attorney and draft a prenup. The prenup specifies the current equity in the house as your asset that remains yours. In the divorce you’re planning, you keep that equity, and any further equity is divided equally between you. You each keep your investment balances as of the date of the wedding, and balances created during the marriage are split.

Or even better, sell the house, you keep the proceeds, then buy a new house together and each put in equal amounts.

But you really do need to consider whether 50/50 is always fair and whether it will always work. What if you become disabled or partner gets leukemia or one of you is sued and loses a million dollar judgment or partner’s child needs a kidney transplant and can’t pay for it or you get burned out doing your six-figure job and need six months off or to become a kindergarten teacher or youth pastor for a 75% pay cut. There are reasons why married couples have traditionally pooled their assets and budgeted together.

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smashinash023 t1_j6glfcc wrote

is the concern with your partner paying part of the mortgage pre or post marriage? pre-marriage, i would say look at comparable rentals and what they would have to pay towards that. post-marriage i would say draft a prenup where you get to keep the equity in your house and 401k as of the marriage date, and he gets to keep his 401k as of the marriage date. any growth/additional equity will be split 50/50

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whosthatgirl t1_j6glqm6 wrote

This is our plan, as well as any acquired assets communally during the marriage to be just that with the exception of the 401k vehicles. Just looking for what an equitable split might be before another property is acquired. Maybe percentage based?

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smashinash023 t1_j6gzo9o wrote

i think a percentage makes sense. get your house appraised, and then divide your equity by the appraisal

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kveggie1 t1_j6hs06w wrote

Prenup... not in your situation.

Combine income, combine expenses. You two will be one, one dream, one future. It does not sound that your relationship is at that point.

Two choices: - get some counseling - stay single.

(prenup= love your money more than you love your partner.....)

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