I take it if you both are on title and loan then if the worse happens you both are protected and entitled to the equity.

Many people will begin to comment” never buy a house with someone you are not married too” but I say , “ Congrats on your Millennial Wedding” It’s now somewhat common now to buy the house first and then have the wedding.

My cousin had a Small beach elopement in 2019 with just parents and siblings. They rented for 2 years and in 2021 bought a house and in 2022 had their wedding.

My friend that bought in 2020 with her bf. Engaged this year. Said they split down payment down the middle.

In my case I bought the condo my hubby and I live in with my own down payment before marriage so it my own separate property.

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Before marriage, I'd split the mortgage payment based on income. If one of you makes 60% of the total household income, that person pays 60% of the mortgage.

If you're sure you'll get married, this is a broader question than how to split the mortgage. The two of you will need to decide how you'll handle all the finances after marriage. Will both paychecks go into one account and every bill come out of that account? Will you utilize the three-account method where the majority of each of your paychecks goes into one main account and bills are paid out of this account and the remainder of your paycheck goes into an account only you use and can spend how you want with a similar account for your spouse? Only the two of you can decide what method works best for your marriage.

Thanks for the response. I think we both wanted to be on all paperwork like you've mentioned. Wasn't sure if there was a difference in signer/co-signer and how that looks legally.

I would recommend that you and your partner have a frank and honest conversation about your financial goals and expectations before you start the process of buying a house or condo. It's important to be on the same page about how much you want to spend, what you can afford, and what your long-term financial plans are.

When it comes to the down payment, you should consider whether you want to split it equally or whether one of you will contribute more. You should also think about how you will handle the mortgage payments and any other expenses that come with owning a home. It's a good idea to make a budget and to have a plan in place for how you will manage your finances as homeowners.

It's also a good idea to protect yourself in the event that your relationship does not last. One way to do this is to have a cohabitation agreement or a prenuptial agreement in place that outlines how you will divide your assets and liabilities in the event of a separation or divorce.

As far as timing goes, it's true that the housing market can be volatile, and it's not always easy to predict the best time to buy. However, if you and your partner are ready to take on the responsibility of homeownership and you have the financial means to do so, now might be a good time for you to start looking. Just be sure to do your research and make an informed decision that's right for you.

It's also worth considering the pros and cons of buying a home versus continuing to rent. On the one hand, owning a home can be a good investment and can provide a sense of stability and pride. On the other hand, renting can be more flexible and may be a better option if you are not ready to commit to a long-term mortgage or if you are not sure where you want to live. Ultimately, the decision to buy or rent will depend on your individual circumstances and goals.

This is actually what we do for rent now. We haven't decided how we will manage funds yet. We've had some convo about some of the options you've mentioned here and will make that decision when it's closer. Thanks for the response!

No difference both would be borrowers/ owners.

Helpful article for how non married couples can hold title of a house here

I think we are on as close of a page as we can be for our financial goals. We are planning to talk to a friend/realtor soon to get a good breakdown of what we believe we can afford.

Some of how we split this has made me slightly nervous from the legal viewpoint if anything were to happen. I always feel weird mentioning this, because of course both of us want this, but you never know. I've had thoughts about getting a lawyer to help make somethings clear and fair and just to document what happens.

Looking at interest rates and watching housing prices decline has grabbed our interest to hope to get a good deal on a house and also hope that the rates will go down and we could refinance soon. Therefore, hopefully saving us money on the interest we'd be paying vs. what we'd be paying to rent otherwise. Not sure if that makes sense the way I wrote it, but I feel like there's a cost benefit analysis to do to see how much longer renting would be worth/not worth.

Best of luck on your buying and future marriage! It's great that the two of you talk money with each other. So many couples don't.

Your first step is to get with your bank and get a pre-approval letter. That will give you an idea of what loan you can get approved for. This forms the basis of a lot of discussions with your partner. Use this number wisely...it can be significantly higher than what you can realistically afford. Next, engage a realtor and get a pulse on the local market you are looking at. A lot of things about home buying can have major implications on your financial life. Having these two things can be a significant eye opener when talking to your partner about the way forward.

> We plan on getting married after we buy a house/condo.

No.

Every month there is somebody who got into a big financial commitment before getting married, the marriage got called off, and now it's a cluster-fuck

Wait until you are married if you plan on putting both your names on the property.

This is more or less what I did. While my now husband and I were dating, I went ahead and bought the townhouse; he really wasn't involved much at all. I bought it, he moved in, we got engaged, and now married. To me paying the mortgage is just like any other bill with my name on it, neither of us really care that only one of us is on the mortgage. (We split all expenses and monthly savings goals by income, I think I saw in a previous comment you do something similar).

I found the whole process a lot easier than I was expecting. I've owned my place for almost 4 years, and have barely had to do anything aside from buying a new washer. I went the condo/townhouse route and a lot of things are taken care of, which has been great for us because we've spent the last few years focusing on grad school, career stuff, starting a family, etc.

Only thing I would recommend is - when talking to your lender - talk though any state-specific issues/benefits to consider in marriage vs No marriage.

For example, in CA and other states married couples can title their property with “right of survivorship.” This is a good benefit as in the death of one person, it allows for the automatic transfer of the entire property to the other bypassing a bunch of potential probate issues.

Might be worth considering an on-paper marriage if there’s a legal/financial/tax benefit to buying as a married couple.

It is also really common for couples who are breaking up to come here and ask how to get out of the house. They don't have enough equity to pay any seller fees, they don't have cash to pay to sell, neither qualifies for a big enough mortgage to refinance etc. So they either end up being roommates or one decides to torpedo everyone's credit by leaving the other holding the bag.

Or one of you buy the house and the other pay rent until you are married.

On the lawyer thing please do it. It's not romantic, it's not enjoyable and can be uncomfortable to entertain. But it IS necessary for peace of mind that if anything did happen that both your asses are covered.

Good luck on your purchase and congrats on making the first steps

If something happens like a messy breakup or even if one of you dies it can be very messy. Imagine you share a mortgage with your fiancés next of kin and they don’t want to sell… so talk to a lawyer.

Did ChatGPT write this?

As someone else mentioned, you need to have a frank discussion with your partner. Generally speaking, when you co-own the house, you split it 50/50. Keep that in mind for future earnings, career goals, etc. Over time, there will also be substantial financial obligations for the home as well. How do you plan to pay for larger expenses such as a 10-15k roof, AC etc.?

For a personal anecdote, my wife and I’s income is close, but still about 60/40 (e.g., I make a bit more to provide 60% of our household income). If shit hits the fan, we split the house straight down the middle. My rationale was easy: if we did split up, I’d have a lot more to worry about than the house.

Go to the courthouse and get married before buying a home together - makes things much simpler from a legal perspective. You can always splurge on a big reception later.

I think so 😂

Lol the user's posts from the last day are all essays but before this month were all short sentence responses!

How far off is the wedding? It may be best to wait until afterwards.

If you plan to buy it beforehand, make sure it's a home each of you could afford on your own in case one of you loses your job or gets injured or you break up before you're legally married. Also if you're both getting the mortgage, get your credit scores and see if one or both of you has to work improving that in the months to come. No large purchases (new car, etc) in the months before and pay down any debt you or your partner has.

My thoughts exactly. One name on the mortgage. Everything else will sort itself out as far as splitting costs, etc. Don't make things legal with someone you are not legally married to.

Yea - there’s no such thing as a smart and safe approach to buying a home with somebody you haven’t married

Effing complicated. Get a lawyer. For example if you split up , not married, it's a WHOLE LOT more complicated than if you are married. Divorce law is well settled, but not "shacking up" law.

You may say ,"I'll never leave him/ her". But shit happens. IMHO get married first.