I'm currently in college, and am struggling with whether to live in the dorms or in an apartment. Parents made a very generous offer and I don't know which one to pick.

Submitted by Brilliant-Bed2876 t3_zx3vwt in personalfinance

would appreciate some advice here: Basically some close friends of mine were planning to get an apartment for our second year at college, and my parents initially agreed. My friends and I found a pretty nice apartment complex close to complex, and its about 1450$ a month including utilities and what not. The dorm is about 1200$ a month,. I really like the apartment and I would much much much prefer it over dorms. However, sorting through finances, it was revealed that the total cost of the apartment would actually be about 3-4k more than the dorms, with everything included and whatnot. Also the only lease was 12 month, and there was a 1.2k reletting fee. My dad initially supported me moving out, and my parents have been and will keep financially supporting me throughout college (i greatly appreciate them for doing so) , but basically my dad gave me two options. Option A: I choose apartment over dorms, parents pay for 9 months. I take care of any reletting fee (1.2k per year). Option B: I commit to living in a dorm throughout college (4 years), and my dad will buy me a 25k car as a gift in my senior year. For context, I plan to live in the apartments for 2 years, possibly moving somewhere else senior year. If you were in my shoes, what option would you pick?

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yogibear99 t1_j1yd97e wrote

You don’t want to live in the party house… you want to be friends with the person who lives in the party house

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GravitysFallen t1_j1yqd6s wrote

Yeah but living in campus is ass. Now in OPs situation, 100% take the deal for dorm + car. But living off campus is 100000x better in my opinion than on campus, just feel trapped in on campus housing

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[deleted] t1_j2087ey wrote

why? campuses are usually beautiful, walkable and mostly self sufficient. even better if it is close to downtown.

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GravitysFallen t1_j20qse7 wrote

Did you live on campus in college, or even go to college?

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ChiSquare1963 t1_j20ubie wrote

Really depends on the campus, the dorm, and the individual’s personality. I liked dorm life, because everything was convenient and I could retreat to my dorm room when I wanted to get away from people. My brother preferred apartment life, where he could cook and grill and have people over. My brother’s children are in college now; one loves apartment life, one loves dorm life, and one is threatening to move home where he doesn’t have to share living space with other teenagers.

Unless dorm life is awful, I’d take the less expensive housing option.

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[deleted] t1_j20usis wrote

i did and it was exactly how i described. easier to socialize, no need for car, and frankly, healthier bc i was walking everywhere!

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ZebraAthletics t1_j22rlwy wrote

Totally depends on the school and campus. There is huge variation.

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cdk922 t1_j21rowa wrote

Could not disagree harder. Live where your friends are, the best part of college are the pregames, hungover afternoons recapping the night before, etc

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tabshiftescape t1_j1yb4j7 wrote

This isn't even a conversation. You take the car.

Your buddies are going to have a couch for you to crash on. For you to be able to get a car after getting an education is going to set you up in a huge way.

You know what you need to do. The beauty of being in college is that you get to finally enjoy spending most of your nights at a place where you might not receive your mail.

This is an easy choice in my book.

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Ladididadi t1_j1yegyh wrote

From mathematical standpoint, I agree.

From personal experience, I disagree. I would not trade my last 3 years of college in a dorm for a $25k car.

If you get a good job after college, you can afford to buy a $25k car relatively quickly. You may get a job offer in a city that doesn’t need a car. You probably don’t even need a $25k car but can make do with a $10k car.

Money comes and goes but living with great roommates in your own place for 3 years can’t be replaced. This is definitely ‘personal’ finance so definitely weigh all pro’s and con’s for each OP!

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leafinthepond t1_j1z8qo3 wrote

Yeah, this also depends on the person. In grad school my friends all lived in one apartment complex and I lived in a cheaper apartment about a mile away. I’m vey shy and missed a lot of social opportunities because of that mile. I paid an extra $300 a month to move into the same apartment as one of my friends and it was worth every penny even though I was a broke grad student.

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justhere321 t1_j1zs44a wrote

This is me. My biggest college regret is that I didn't live on campus as least the first year. I missed out on making friends and feeling connected.

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SweetAlyssumm t1_j206evz wrote

My last three years of college not-in-a-dorm were memorable. I often think of them and absolutely loved them. Do what you want to do, don't be manipulated through money. You'll buy your own car someday.

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Kadalis t1_j20zxmz wrote

Depends on the school. At my college almost everyone lived on campus, so being off-campus wasn't an upgrade.

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Unfair_Isopod534 t1_j1yq1wm wrote

This is just anecdotal and your argument reminded me of this story. I worked with this dude that didn't know how to wash dishes. He would have dirty/moldy lunch containers. Apparently he managed to go through life without ever having to do so. In college, he lived in a dorm so all the food came from cafeteria. I don't work with him anymore. I think this is a massive edge case but maybe living in apartment with roommates will force you to learn a thing or two. I have never lived in dorms so my understanding is non existent.

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KiniShakenBake t1_j1ydsfl wrote

OH MY GOD take the car.

My grandparents gifted me a car *a new one* after college because I paid my way through college. That car lasted 15 years of reliable transportation during my most tenuous earning years. I never had to worry about my car getting me to or from whatever job I had, because it was new and reliable and awesome. It was fuel efficient and I could count on it to do what I needed it to do.

If they're paying for you to live in the dorms for four years, live in the dorms. They are fine. They are fantastic. They are where networking happens and people have great conversations at 4am over pizza and studying for finals. Dorms are just fine. Meal plan is paid for and you don't have to worry about feeding yourself. Take. The. Dorms.

I loved living in the dorms because I didn't have to worry about anything. Once I moved into a house with roomies things became so much more complicated and expensive in both time and money. The dorms are fantastic if your parents will pay for it. That's the dream.

If you can get a single in a pod of rooms, that'd be awesome. Do that.

Good luck. Take the car and live in the dorms.

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Ladididadi t1_j1ydkyr wrote

This is definitely personal preference. Moving to an apartment was infinitely better for my sanity. No dorm rules, a living room and kitchen to hang out in, living with your friends were all huge benefits. Negatives included no dorm rules (loud roommates), leaky kitchen and terrible landlord, more space to maintain, travel to/from campus, easier to be secluded from school activities.

In my opinion, who you live with is make it or break it. Living with wonderful roommates will pay dividends in your future career, mental sanity, and friendships.

As an aside, $4,000 x 4 years is $16,000. Could you parents buy you a $9,000 car after you graduate which would equal to the $25k they are offering? Is there another reason they don’t want you in an apartment?

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w33dcup t1_j1z04v7 wrote

From a relationship stand point, which one do you want to maintain longer: friends or family? Your friends might be friends for life. Or a few missed rent payments and you're struggling to keep your home. On the other hand, your parents are offering to support you fully for the remainder of school and reward you for that. It's almost like they know something about college roommates. Option A is fraught with financial & relationship risk whereas Option B is much less so. In college, your goal should be completing your education which means being able to focus on that...not adding layers of risk outside of school.

Others have mentioned how bad dorm life can be. They may be romanticizing off campus life a bit. Just think about what you are literally signing up for. You are going to sign a legally enforceable contract with other people while being dependent on those other people to execute said contract successfully. You're basic cosigning a debt with a couple of college kids. If something goes wrong, you are legally and financially responsible. That could mean it ends up in collections or on your credit report for 7 years!! That's quite a risk when compared to Option B. Not to mention the damage it could do to your friendships and relationship with your parents when/if you ask them to bail you out. What if they say no? You opted for this and this is what being an adult looks like.

Make your parents happy and take the dorm and car. College is a few short years in a lifetime of relationships. If your friends are true friends they will understand and you'll hang at their place a lot anyway. Your parents have wisdom from years of life...leverage that wisdom and take Option B. It's the smarter long term choice.

If I were in your shoes, I would take Option B. Many of us weren't as lucky as you to have such caring and supportive parents. Take advantage of that. And then spend the rest of your life being appreciative of everything they have done for you.

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fortuna_audaci t1_j1zbhis wrote

No matter what you choose, give your dad a big hug and thank him for his support!

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Birdbraned t1_j1yv50j wrote

>close friends of mine were planning to get an apartment

No.... you don't want to shack up with your friends, that's how you lose friends.

It's hard to draw lines with friends when you have dirty kitchens and dirty toilets and someone brings their gf home for 6 out of 7 days who leaves milk outside the fridge.

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Potato_hoe t1_j203w71 wrote

Hm this is extremely variable. Are they friends from high school as OP starts their freshman year? OR is OP going into their sophomore year and living with good friends they met in college?

If it’s college friends then I’d say it’s not a bad idea. I lived with my best friends I’d met in college and we’re all still best friends 10 years later.

Dorms are great and necessary freshman year to find your people, but after an apartment is MUCH better in terms of the overall college experience. But a free car is a damn good deal. Idk though, I wouldn’t change a thing about how I did it. Some of the best memories I’ll ever have were made in that shitty college apartment.

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ymcmoots t1_j1ycoto wrote

When I was in school, I wound up saving a lot of money by living off campus, because I could eat lentils instead of paying $$$ for the required dorm meal plan. If that applies to your situation & isn't already part of your calculations, add a food budget, see if the numbers change.

Do the dorms really suck? Do you need to move out in order to have a sex life or a quiet room of your own or something like that? I think it's worth paying more for an apartment if you're getting a big upgrade in privacy or study space, but not for aesthetics or parties or the ability to have a cat or whatever.

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NotBatman81 t1_j1zdz96 wrote

I moved out of the dorms half way through sophmore year. I had to work full time during school, and having to wake up and be to work at 6:30am every Sat and Sun doesn't mesh with dorm life. There were pros and cons to this. I had no RA babysitting me, I saved money, had more privacy, and my place was much nicer. The downside was I was disconnected from campus life, I had to navigate shared expenses with other people, and didn't have all the support infrastructure next door like the cafeteria and library.

I didn't have much choice, but if I got a redo I would have rather stayed in the dorms for 3 years and transitioned to an apartment senior year.

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nomad_l17 t1_j1yf7u1 wrote

  1. Compare what's available in the dorms and apartment. When I entered college, I lived in the dorm for 1 week before I moved out to an apartment within walking distance. Sure I paid more but it was better than sharing a cramped living space and facilities with other people. I also had the freedom of having more options for food and transportation was easier (apartment was closer to public transportation).

  2. What are your friends like? My housemates all agreed that our apartment would never become the party house and we always went to other people's apartments to hang out (we also had a lecturer living below us so...). Yes a few of my housemates were always out doing their thing but the apartment was pretty quiet most of the time and our coursemates would always come over to study and do assignments/projects. Have you and your friends discussed this?

  3. Finances. It's great your parents will pay for the apartment but would you be able to afford living there when they stop? Also it's great your dad offered a 25k car but do you need it? Also who would pay for insurance etc? Would you become the friend that always gives others a ride?

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horriblyefficient t1_j1yfoks wrote

is your relationship with your parents very good/stable? I would take the upfront option (paid rent) over the three years later option (car) even if the car is worth more, because I'd be concerned the car offer might disappear by the time I got to that point, if your relationship with your parents breaks down or they get into financial trouble.

the other thing to consider is what quality of life impact living in the apartment would have - are you and your friends party people? are the dorms particularly shit? basically, what is living in the apartment worth. also, how does it impact your food and transport costs?

are you working at all? how long would it take you to save up $25k and if you did, would you spend it all on a car?

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81632371 t1_j1zg5a5 wrote

As the parent of a grad and a current student who each went 50/50 dorm/apartment, there's a lot of factors to consider. Ask yourself/research: Will you want to live there during any summer/winter breaks? If so, definitely go for the apartment. Apartments provide the convenience of coming and going when you want to, not when the school decides you should. Less move ins/move outs. You appear to have only one semester under your belt. Are you sure you will be happy to live with this group? Can you stay another year in the dorm and then rent? How much upper class housing does the college provide? Will you likely be forced to move off at some point? The circumstances at your university could be very different from others' experiences, so take that into consideration.

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karma_polizei t1_j1zh0ym wrote

There are pros and cons to both. Living off campus in an apartment brings on a whole new set of chores you may not have had in the dorms. Cooking, dishes, cleaning bathrooms/kitchens/living spaces, keeping up with utility bills, finding somewhere to do laundry if there isn't any on-site, etcetcetc.

Does your college offer suites? Mine did, and that was the best of both worlds. It was 4 bedrooms split between 6 people, 2 bathrooms, a kitchenette and a living space. We got the apartment living feel without all the added junk that goes with living off campus.

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I lived in a standard dorm, a suite, and off campus. The off campus apartment was 3 levels, all filled with members of the college soccer team (10 total), and was considered party city because it was a relatively small school (~2000 undergrad students) with most people living on campus. Was it fun? Absolutely. Did it suck having to constantly clean up after having 50 people over 4 times a week? Absolutely.

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It also sucked having to hound everyone for their portion of the utilities every month. It got so bad at one point I had to turn off the internet in order for people to pay me their portion. These were all people who I had known for years and shouldn't have had any problems with, and yet, there were.

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In hindsight, suite living was the best of both worlds, at least for me. There was enough room where you weren't on top of a roomate all the time, you could still have parties as long as you were respectful of your neighbors (same goes for any apartment, really), and you didn't have the pitfalls that went along with off campus living.

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hops_on_hops t1_j201r1n wrote

Live in the dorms, go visit your buddies and sleep on the couch when it's party time, get the car. Easy choice.

And that's just with the stuff you've laid out, but you missed a few things:

  • the dorm almost certainly includes a meal plan or the option to add one. In an apartment you will have to get, pay, and cook your own food. That means going to the grocery store (do you have a car?), cooking, dishes, fighting for fridge-space with roommates. This is a significant cost and time-stuck. And let's be honest, you're going to spend a lot more on takeout/delivery if you have to cook for yourself, so there's another added cost.

  • student housing qualifies for student aid. What is your loan/scholarship situation like now?

  • academics. Students who live on campus tend to perform better academically. You can certainly buck that trend in either direction, but the reality is its easier to succeed at school when you're in student housing rather than a party house.

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FckMitch t1_j1yfh6x wrote

What about food cost? Don’t you need a meal plan on campus?

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NotBatman81 t1_j1zeosv wrote

Meal plan options are usually independent of dorms vs off campus. I had a full meal plan for my first semester in an apartment. After that I just got one with x number of swipes to get brekafast and lunch while on campus for classes.

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IwishIdidntlikemath t1_j1zjyk6 wrote

The "personal finance" decision is to take the car, but I would also say dorm.

Mainly because I lived on campus and I'm so glad I did. I met many friends and created so many memories. Sure, I had a couple not great roommates, yeah people tend not to clean the communal kitchen, a couple times people were too loud, but I would 100% do it again. The community aspect was a real blessing looking back.

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Hot_Handle t1_j1zvo4p wrote

I have lived in the dorms and also off campus. For me the decision was mostly financial. The dorms were a lot more expensive than living off campus. Also, there are are things like the setup of the dorms. Have you toured the place? In my case there were 3 people per room - one bunk bed and one single...which was horrible, shared bathroom with the suite next door - another 3 people. No privacy or quiet space. Also my school forced you to buy a meal plan with the dorm which was more money than buying food yourself. Once we rented a place off campus everyone had their own room and it was cheaper too. I would ask, isn't there another off campus rental (house or apartment) available that is cheaper. We would just find something on craigslist and pay month to month per room.

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nxplr t1_j20aqkg wrote

As someone who lived on campus her entire time at university - take the car. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be.

I’m also super introverted and was focused on academics more than anything else, and still enjoyed living on campus. The convenience is so incredible.

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Donebrach t1_j21lnrz wrote

  1. Stay in the dorm, keep your friends (and have a place to go to to hang) and get a car.
  2. strain your finances, possibly risk ruining friendships, get no car.

Seems a pretty simple choice.

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ltentr1 t1_j22z7zf wrote

There are crappy roommates. I say dorms & have a quiet place to go to. If you have a crappy roommate-the dorms/school can handle it. If your in an apartment-what’s the plan of a crappy roommate doesn’t pay-or stays up late..or your cleaning up after them?

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emmackky t1_j1yqt8d wrote

I would take whichever option gives you more peace of mind , quiet when you need it setting you up for future success in those moments when you need to buckle down and study ; but that’s me. Any other material things will come down the line.

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saltyhasp t1_j2013a8 wrote

If dorms work for you take dorms. If they do not, consider something else. Personally I liked dorm living...everything taken care of including meals... and I had good roomates though different every year. Plus I am a good sleeper, and could focus too regardless of what else was going on. So they really worked for me. Also avoided drama of dealing with immature off campus roommates.

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Full_Prune7491 t1_j204hlc wrote

Try it for one year and see how it goes.

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bros402 t1_j20b5vl wrote

Take the dorm deal - then you can go to the party apartment and not have to clean up because you live there, you can clean up because you're a good friend

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flyinglightningbear t1_j20gbnf wrote

I did two years of dorms and two years of living off campus and honestly both had their perks. In your situation I’d absolutely go with the dorm route because I found dorms were more convenient and conducive for school and it’s easy to just go to a friends apartment off campus when you wanted to have fun or hang out. Have a brand new car for free is also a major perk and financially puts you ahead with not having to worry about car payments and access to kore jobs after college.

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jontheterrible t1_j20hm5p wrote

You can be completely independent with a nice car after you graduate. Concentrate on school now, you have the rest of your life to stress over finances when you get out. That is my opinion as someone who has paid for both college and an apartment while in school. I basically had to get a full time job while in school. It worked out but I was lucky and would have liked to experience college life without working full time or worrying about how to pay for everything.

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Distinct_Village_87 t1_j210e1a wrote

Current college student here. Now where I go to school, the price of dorm (over 9 months + meals) and apartment (over 12 months + some for groceries) is not much different. For me, it was a no-brainer to go for the apartment; I learned how to cook for myself in the span of about 24 hours of not having my parents cook for me, and a few months ago I received a job offer for remote work -- something I most definitely could not have done had I been in a dorm.

I have more space to myself -- something that I enjoy -- and I can cook whatever I want (of course within limits) whenever I want it. And it's healthier than eating Chipotle or whatever every night.

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AtxSaiyan t1_j21lby8 wrote

If you’re not a freshman don’t live in dorms

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Reader47b t1_j2204lm wrote

Dorms and car hands down. Save your money now while you can. Dorms will mean an easier commute and closer to on-campus activities, too. A car will be essential for work, etc. later and it will be a real blessing not to have a car payment. No matter where you live, you can hang out with your friends, but I wouldn't give up a car and savings just to live under their roof. Also, you may make new friends in the dorms.

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GrinningIgnus t1_j221p99 wrote

If you feel that strongly about staying in the apartment then do it. A 3-4k difference won’t mean anything to you in 6 years (if everything goes well)

You really don’t get those college years back. Do everything that you want to do.

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mobilesofa t1_j22bxcc wrote

I moved out of dorms asap, 2nd semester. It was myself, my roommate from the dorm, and another friend in a 3 br apartment. Overall I saved a lot of my parents’ money, as they were supporting me.

Looking back, even though most of the money was coming from my parents, getting off campus was a great real world education in personal finance. Utilities, rent, groceries, equitably splitting bills with roommates, battling a landlord over security deposit…

Show your dad you’re responsible enough to handle all that. He will be so proud of you, probably buy you the car next year. Also he’d be totally ashamed if the RA got you suspended for smoking weed on campus. Apartments don’t have RAs.

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trapaholic400 t1_j22ispn wrote

If you have solid dorms than the dorm is the easy pick, just make sure u get ur own room. Getting a car after 4 years would be awesome lol. U could save so much worth it. Having ur own place is nice but that can wait a couple years and u would be able to afford a nicer first apartment after if u choose to move out right after school

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Famous-Potential1842 t1_j22t0ay wrote

100p live in the apartment, maybe see if you and your friends can find a cheaper situation. You will want a kitchen, bedroom, space, no rules. You will not want to always having to be walking to your friends and be the odd man out. You will miss out. I made my best friends from being roommates. Also, do you really need a 25,000$ car?! That’s a lot!!! Maybe have a side job and save for a car so you can pitch in to add to what your dad will be willing to pay for a car. I’m also not a car person. But 100p living in peace in an apartment not on campus with campus rules, with your friends, in your own space is so worth it.

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Enough_Solution_5907 t1_j24we4i wrote

I would choose living in a dorm and get the car. You will have plenty of time to live in apartments after you done with school! And you can have whoever you want as Roomate. Get the 25k- buy 10k car and invest the rest. Think long term. Spend time figuring out what is really that you want to do after college (if don’t know already).

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auscadtravel t1_j1zcd7r wrote

First year in the dorm, it's a totally different way of life and to make friends you have for life. Second year move into an apartment. Sounds like you are in second year so it's time to move off campus and leave the dorm available to first years. Yes a year long lease is required but that so you can get a summer job in your new city and have this as your first full year away from mom and dad.

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scnative843 t1_j1z7f46 wrote

This is a pretty easy choice honestly, just be prepared to be "that guy" who's living in the dorms the whole time with freshmen.

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