Find a lawyer to sue her for theft

It shouldn't be that hard to find a roommate

There are two separate issues here.

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The first is the immediate issue with the lease. See if your lease allows you to sublet and roommates might be an option. Also talk to your landlord about what it would take to get out of the lease early so that you can find something you can afford.

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The second issue is the divorce and marital property. You need a divorce lawyer right now. Seriously. Immediately. In the meantime document everything. Your wife can't just drain the accounts and leave the state. It's very likely that at least half that money is yours. Depending on where you are and how long you were married you might be entitled to some of her retirement savings or even spousal support as well. Call a lawyer.

Theft of what? Her name was on the account. It was her money that was primarily used.

How much would it cost to break the lease and move somewhere cheaper?

Also correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you entitled to some of that money in savings and also alimony (since she was primary breadwinner)? I feel like you should get out of your current situation and then sue

Find a cheap sublet.

Move-in with a friend.

Move back in with parents, if able.

Another user pointed out to hire a lawyer and sue for theft but exactly how much was cleaned out? If it was little, it may not be worth it. If it was a lot, then absolutely pursue it since a victory there will let you build an emergency fund for exactly this situation.

Consult with a divorce attorney.

Some of the money that your wife earned during the duration of your marriage probably belongs to you.

You were married. It doesn't matter in most states if she made a majority of the savings without you also working she wouldn't have those savings anyway.

Most men who are bread winners get raked over the coals in divorce but the ones like you refuse to get their share. Go talk to a divorce lawyer and get whats yours.

It's trickier than that. They do allow subleasing and I'm already trying to find a roommate, but to break the lease costs two months' rent. Our savings were already tapped prior from covid. We already lost any retirement savings. All we had was about a month worth in the bank. I could sue, but it's her parents who helped her with her new rent first month, and it wasn't a man in another state she's moved in with in case it wasn't clear, she took a sublet herself. I don't have any money for a lawer, and she doesn't have anything to sue for.

talk to your landlord to break the lease.

Less than $2000. Covid drained us first. Not able to move back with my parents, and it would cost a bit over $4000 to break the lease.

They are still married. There is nothing here that is illegal. The wife was on the account and took out the money that she legally had access to.

It’s not theft. The assets in question have been spent. A divorce attorney and subsequent divorce could only net OP a split of current assets.

Would love to, but to break it costs 2 months and I'm not going to be able to afford December, let alone 2 months.

Exactly my problem.

No, no alimony. The divorce has not happened yet and the money was spent. Additionally the marriage was not long enough for alimony. She had legal access to use the money at her discretion. The assets have been spent, and a lawyer could only get me a split of current assets which don't exist.

Our assets were drained from covid, then the dregs went away legally. Legal would likely cost more than award.

You could always try to talk with the landlord/leasing office about your new situation too. They want you to keep paying, they don't want to kick you on the streets and pay to renovate the place and find a new tenant, or potentially have a legal battle against you if you hole up in the place. It's far easier to work out a deal that'll work for you due to this sudden emergency, than find new tenants (at least that's the assumption. They could be assholes that defy all those assumptions I laid out but you won't know till you engage them).

I'm not sure if a pursuing <$2000 with a lawyer may be worth it, but I'm not well versed in the costs of legal battles, not to mention you don't really have much spare cash to afford it upfront due to your situation.

Get a bank account only in your name and have your earnings deposited there. Ensure that anything else with her name on it isn’t a liability for you.

A divorce attorney is still a smart decision moving forward. Document carefully what has happened so that it might support your case in court.

Is your wife's name on the lease? Then she's also responsible for the rent. The landlord can come after both of you for the unpaid rent. Talk to your landlord, tell them you can't pay, terminate your lease, move to housing you can afford. They can't force the 3 months of rent out of you, they have to file a claim for it.

And people say "never buy with someone you aren't married to".

I recommend talking to the owners of the home and see if they will let you out of the lease. Gosh this sucks.

That's already been done. I never closed my personal account from before we were married ~5 years ago.

I like this idea, then it will dock her credit score and she'll be more likely to pay

But would there be any interest on the rent if OP leaves it unpaid? Like snowballing debt?

Well I hope you get a decent amount of alimony once the divorce is finalized

Unlikely. Neither of us have any assets left. And I should also say the duration of the marriage will not allow alimony.

That's a good question - the landlord could potentially add additional fees on top of the unpaid rent, but as far as interest goes, I'm not sure. But if OP can't afford the rent and can't find a subletter, IMO it's best to cut losses, find affordable place to live before his credit score is affected, and go from there.

OP, as long as your wife's name is on the lease, she doesn't just get to leave you high and dry with the rent.

did you already talk to the landlord?

maybe they'd be willing to waive the normal fees of lease breaking considering the horrible way you've been treated by your ex partner.

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Alimony is mostly based on gross income, not current assets

Tell your landlord if the situation and just go. He might try to come after you, he might not. Your wife is legally responsible for half. But seriously, just leave.

Break the lease, regardless of what they say it costs, and find a cheaper place to rent. Let them go after the wife for the amount, if they choose to sue, which is rare. Most likely they will just put the unit back on the market and, other than "amount due" notices, you won't hear from them again. Write them a nice letter describing the circumstances as to why you have to terminate the lease early, and documenting that you have no assets from which to pay the termination fee. That will reduce the odds of them pursuing a judgement. One because you are broke and two because landlords are human.

You need a lawyer to explain this to you. Everyone is telling you the same thing and you don't seem to understand the legal situation here

You may be right, but I can't afford one

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Landlord here… just talk to the landlord and explain. We all know someone that got screwed by a shitty ex and also know you can’t squeeze juice that isn’t there. If you can’t pay, their best option is to turn the unit around as quickly as possible. You may have to move quickly, but I suspect they’d let you leave without fines.

Even if she has $0 she has more than you since you got stuck in the house unable to leave. It likely won't cost much if anything to at least get the advice of a lawyer.

How long were you married? You may be due alimony as part of a divorce. Also, the landlord can chose to waive any fees to get you out of the unit you can’t afford. Keeping you in it doesn’t make any sense for them. Just talk to them… guaranteed they know someone that’s been screwed over before (or had it happen to them).

It doesn't have to be illegal, she legally accessed the money as she was allowed to by bank policy, but emptying bank accounts and fleeing to another state isn't going to look great in a divorce, which is what the commenter was talking about.

Plenty will at least offer you a free or low cost consultation.

Which I described in a subsequent comment. However, there isn’t anything to sue for at this point (maybe assistance with coverage of rent)…people just love to comment that whenever something negative happens.

None of those tricky details makes much of a difference, you still need to break the lease. Let your landlord know ASAP and ask them to begin looking for a new tenant (as should you). Be prepared to deliver the property back to them in pristine condition, and then get on a payment plan for repayment of the fees associated with breaking the lease.

Then find a cheap room rental close to work and start to recover financially.

In the mean time, close any joint accounts with your wife (sounds like they are empty) and make sure that you remove her as an authorized individual on any of your personal credit accounts.

It's not like she's going to be broke for the rest of her life....

You needed a Lawyer yesterday. You can absolutely sue her for rent as both of your names are on the lease.

Spousal support...

Even if she spent every cent, she will owe you payments on that money she took, as that money belonged to both of you. It heavily depends on your state laws, when the money was earned, when the loans were taken out, etc.

Sounds like it wouldn't be quick, though, no matter what. You might pursue this once you have a place to live.

1. talk to your landlord and see if you can work something out, 2) get divorced (you have no assets, so the paperwork should be relatively easy), 3) get a better job.

You know your situation better than any of us and your biggest asset right now is having a solid head on your shoulders - major kudos to you for keeping that during a jarring, life altering event.

When there are no assets and no children, a legal battle is never worth it. It’ll just land you in debt. Yes a lawyer may sell you some vague hope but lawyers aren’t exactly neutral when it comes to telling you whether you one and it is common for the legal fees to exceed the monetary award in a divorce, meaning your networth is worse off having pursued “justice” with a lawyer than if you’d just let her go. She has no assets. You have no kids. One month’s worth of living expenses - even six months worth of alimony - the legal fees could easily exceed whatever you hope to be awarded.

You can file in small claims court for her share of the lease rent without mucking up your divorce with it or getting lawyers involved. That’s a separate contract and is easier/cheaper to resolve on your own.

Just because the wife earned more doesn’t mean OP would get alimony. In many states the bar to receive alimony is now that the lesser earner earns less than needed to support themselves (how that line is calculated varies by state) - it is not a question of the lesser earner continuing the lifestyle they had during the marriage. OP has a job. In many jurisdictions, that alone is the end of the alimony consideration.

Even if OP was entitled to two years of $500/month alimony (which would be a lot in many jurisdictions these days, alimony isn’t what it used to be), the wife could make it cost OP $20k in legal fees for that to get awarded. OP is smart to be forward looking and pragmatic about his budget.

They didn't say sue either, just to talk to a divorce lawyer so they'd understand their actual situation and not what they think it is, or what a bunch of redditors think it is.

She has your money.

A fair number have said sue, so I admit I made an assumption.

Not married long enough for alimony I'm afraid.

Duly noted, will look into that route.

Find a roommate or just tell them the story and that you have no option other than breaking the lease. Landlords don’t want a tenant who can’t pay.

They very well won’t come after either of you for breaking the lease as you can’t get blood from a stone. It’s not worth it to them. Better to have a tenant break lease than having to evict a broke tenant.

Most of these comments are nonsense. There is 100% no point in wasting money on a lawyer, they really cannot help you.

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This is a really bad place for legal advice. Even some of the lawyers here sometimes give bad or conflicting advice.

You should still try to talk to the landlord, explain the situation and see if they can cut you a deal. Some money (if that) and letting you go on your own accord is better than no rent money and trying to evict you from a landlords point of view.

A lease is what they can do, not necessarily what they will do. They can't treat you worse just because you talk to them

Second job? Raise? Do they have a cheaper rental you could switch to?

Speaking as a social worker in section 8 housing—you can apply for financial assistance. Since today is the last day of the month, new funding will come through tomorrow. Go to your state’s website and search for financial assistance. The feds have a TON of money for rent relief right now. Apply for rent relief!!! Have your landlord do the application for you as well. It’ll take a few weeks to get it approved but typically landlords will work with you if they know that you’re waiting to get approved. Hope this helps!

Doesn't matter. Talk to your landlord anyways. They may take pity on you given the awful circumstances and let you out of the lease agreement.

Probably fired the people who barely worked but got paid salary.

What?

Doesn’t matter. Have a face to face, human being to human being conversation.